Dear Ann Landers: I had to write about “First Wife in Wisconsin,” who had been married for 25 years and then divorced, ending up with nothing. Actually, this woman has a nest egg in the making. It is a little-known law of Social Security that says if you have been married to a man for at least 10 years, you are entitled to tap into his Social Security when you retire or if you become disabled, even if he divorces you.
I found out about this when I became disabled years ago, but I had only been married to my first husband for five years. If my current husband dies or divorces me, I can tap into not only his Social Security but also his veterans pension.
So, tell “Wisconsin” to hang in there for her retirement years. Her ex-husband won’t be able to do a thing to stop her.
Wiser in Abilene, Kan.
Dear Abilene: I did some checking with the Social Security Administration, and your information is accurate. According to Kenneth Apfel, commissioner of Social Security, divorced women are entitled to benefits. However, there are a number of eligibility factors, such as age, marital status and amount of benefits paid on the individual’s own Social Security work record. If anyone would like more information on this subject, please call the Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213.
Dear Ann Landers: After I read your column about people who are hooked on smoking, I decided to share my story. I started to smoke when I began high school. We called them “coffin nails” and thought it was the thing to do to look grown up.
When I was in the Army during World War II, I tried to quit, but failed. After the war, when I began teaching school, I knew I had to quit because I couldn’t continue to smoke and tell my students it was bad for them. Here’s how I did it.
I took one cigarette and put it in my shirt pocket. Every time I had the urge, I reached for the weed, said, “Look, buddy, I’m bigger than you are!” and put it back in my pocket. That did it. And after I quit, everything in my life was better.
K.S. in Santa Clarita, Calif.
Dear K.S.: Your solution was a victory of mind over matter. You simply were not going to let that weed hold you hostage. It was a tough battle, but you won. The prize? Better health and more years to enjoy it.
Dear Ann Landers: I’m writing about the letter from “Fed Up in Oregon,” the bank teller who broke her arm and was annoyed by people who kept asking, “What happened?” I, too, broke my arm, playing ping-pong, of all things. The surgeon had to implant a metal rod, and I spent the next several weeks with my arm immobilized in various bulky contraptions until it healed.
Like “Fed Up,” I was bombarded with friendly but tiresome questions. After a while, when those questions began to irritate me, I decided to go on the offense. I had a button made that read, “I fell and broke my arm. So, how was YOUR summer?” I pinned it to the sling. Everyone who saw it laughed, and from then on, the laughter contributed to the healing. Perhaps printing my letter will help others who are plagued with the same problem.
Cheerful in California
Dear Cheerful: What a creative solution. You followed an old Ann Landers admonition, “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.”
Gem of the Day (Credit Mark Twain): Worry is a killer. Drag yourself away from your troubles by the ear or by the heels. It’s the healthiest thing you can do.
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When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? “The Ann Landers Guide for Brides” has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.
