Dear Ann Landers: Many years ago, you printed a letter about an English girl married to an Irish man. I saved it, because it reminded me of my situation. Would you please print it again for all of us who have Irish husbands? Susan in Boston
Dear Susan: Here it is–additional fodder for those who believe the war between the English and the Irish is destined to go on from here to eternity. Thank you for a letter that is perfect for St. Patrick’s Day:
Dear Ann Landers: I’m English. My husband is Irish. My mother told me what I was getting into, but I didn’t believe her. I do now.
Mike thinks St. Patrick’s Day is the most important holiday of the year. It comes ahead of Christmas, our anniversary, my birthday–everything. Every year, we give a St. Pat’s party, and the 10th one is coming up.
This time, Mike wants to invite everyone who came to last year’s party, plus six new couples. Five of those couples have not even picked up the phone all year to see if we are living or dead–let alone invite us to anything. I don’t see why we should ask them again. We want your opinion. Thorn in the Shamrock
Dear Thorn: You can’t win an argument with an Irishman, especially about St. Patrick’s Day. Give Mike his way this time, but next year, don’t invite anyone who has ignored you for two years straight.
Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 20 years, and we have two wonderful teenage daughters. Both girls are good students and a pleasure to have around the house. Our younger daughter is 14 and in high school. Our older daughter, “Georgia,” is 19 and lives at home. She is a full-time college student, and earns money by baby-sitting and doing some part-time work. She is a loving and responsible girl, does her own laundry, keeps her room clean, helps me in the kitchen, and pays the insurance and upkeep on her car.
Here is the problem: Between her class schedule, her job and her social life, Georgia is rarely at home. She has a curfew and respects it, and calls regularly to check in with us. Her friends are decent, trustworthy teenagers, and we like them a great deal. We expect her to be socially active. However, it is getting virtually impossible to plan a family trip or outing, since we can never get everyone together at the same time.
I say, as long as Georgia is in school and responsible for her chores at home, she should have the freedom of spending time away from the family. Her father disagrees. He takes her absences personally, and it is affecting their relationship. This past week, Georgia was gone four nights out of five, mostly due to a special three-day weekend event. However, it is not unusual for her to spend the night at a friend’s home twice a week. We live outside the city, and although her friends are welcome here, it is more convenient for Georgia to stay at a girlfriend’s house.
This is not a matter of trust, Ann. Georgia is not doing anything wrong when she is at a girlfriend’s home. The parents are always present. I think she is behaving normally for a young woman of 19, but my husband feels that he has lost a daughter. I don’t like seeing him hurt. Should we insist that Georgia spend more time at home? Split Decision Out West
Dear Split: The odds just changed. I am with you and Georgia. She should not be pressured to spend more time with her parents–not at 19 years of age, for heaven’s sake. Tell your husband that Daddy’s Little Girl is doing just dandy, and to lighten up.
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When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? “The Ann Landers Guide for Brides” has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
