NAME: Myrna Shure
BACKGROUND:Myrna Shure, a developmental psychologist at MCP Hahnemann University in Philadelphia, is the author of a two-book series designed to introduce her “I Can Problem Solve” program to children ages 4-12. The first book, “Raising a Thinking Child,” focuses on 4- to 7-year-olds, and her most recent “Raising a Thinking Preteen,” does the same for children 8 to 12.
Q–What is the “I Can Problem Solve” program?
A–Parents are instructed on how to work with their children through games and interactive activities that will teach their children skills needed to become independent, decision-making, problem solvers.
Q–What was the motivation behind initiating the “I Can Problem Solve” program with children through age 12? Do you think teens aren’t receptive to the idea of learning new ways to problem solve?
A–I think that in the preteen years, children are still willing to talk to their parents. They really need to have built their communication skills by the time they become teenagers. It is as teens that they prefer to talk with their friends. So the preteen years are the last opportunity for parents to teach their children the skills they need to have freedom and space as teenagers.
Q–What skills do children need to be independent problem solvers?
A–The skills needed include understanding the point of view and feelings of others, understanding why people do the things they do, learning to weigh all their options when looking for alternative solutions, thinking about the consequences of their actions and learning to create sequenced plans.
Q–How do each of these skills help children in the problem-solving process?
A–The way children act is an indicator to how they feel. So when a child understands his or her own feelings, he or she can understand others’ feelings. When they understand why people do things, they are less likely to draw inaccurate conclusions and misinterpret the intent of others. When a child thinks of different ways to solve a problem, he or she is less inclined to give up.
Then after children learn what else they can do, it’s important to ask what will happen as a result of the action. When a complex problem arises, children need to create sequenced plans. This will help them learn to think for themselves, which will ultimately result in their ability to make their own decisions.
Q–What are some of the activities parents can do to teach their children these problem-solving skills?
A–To teach a child to understand their feelings, a parent can start by playing games using emotions the child is already familiar with. These might include happy, sad, angry, proud, afraid and frustrated. Ask your child, “What makes you happy?” and “What makes others happy?” Do the same thing for different emotions. Another simple activity is called the memory game. You tell the child five things that make you happy and they have to repeat them. Then switch roles.
To teach a child to understand why people do the things they do, a parent can show their child pictures of an ambiguous scenario. This way, a child can interpret it in several ways. The parent should ask the child to tell a story about the photos. Then parents can switch to real-life situations, such as bumping into someone, or someone teasing a child. They can ask their child questions such as, “If someone bumped into you because they weren’t watching where they were walking, how would you feel?”
A parent can look for alternate solutions to a problem with a game I call the “What Else?” game. In this game, the parent and child have brainstorming sessions where the parent might say to the child, “If kids are teasing you, what can you do?” Then as the child responds the parent says, “What else could you do?” Continue to do this to allow the child to come up with several solutions.
To teach children to think about the consequences of their actions, a parent can have them pretend they are in someone else’s shoes. Role-play with the children so that they try a lot of different things and don’t give up. I had one child who was constantly teased by other kids because he was overweight. They would yell out, “Here comes bacon.” The little boy would walk away or kick one of the kids. He would get in trouble. Then he learned to think about alternative solutions. One day the kids yelled, “Here comes bacon,” and he turned around and said, “Yeah, and I sizzle.” The kids all laughed and now he’s one of the most popular kids in his school. He was empowered just by not giving up.
To learn sequenced planning, kids need to learn to plan. A parent can take a simple thing like a homework assignment. They can ask the child a series of questions: “You have to do a book report? What book will you do it on? How long will it take to read? When is it due? When do you need to start reading if you read one chapter per night?” By doing this, the child is not only learning to put things in sequential order, but is also using the other four skills.
