Let’s begin by commending the seventh annual Wacky Warning Label Contest put on by the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (and doesn’t that sound like a fun group).
The contest highlights how far companies go to avoid lawsuits involving their products.
Fourth place: A label on a 5-inch fishing lure with three steel hooks says, “Harmful if swallowed.”
Third place: A label on a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact disks warns, “Do not use as a ladder.”
Second place: A label on a snow sled says, “Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.”
And first prize: A warning label on a bottle of drain cleaner reads, “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
After reading these labels, please do not induce vomiting.
LOST & FOUND: If you were planning on invading Cyprus any time soon, you missed your chance. Army officials discovered that secret military installation plans were found in the trash … by a truck driver … who showed the plans to a TV station. Oops.
SNAKE-BIT: Police said a New Jersey man stole two tiger python snakes from a pet store and then was bitten by one of them in the groin as he drove home in his car.
First off, put your snakes in a snake-restraint seat. That’s common sense.
Secondly, not only do we not steal snakes but we also don’t steal snakes by stashing them in a canvas bag rigged inside our pants, as police said this man did.
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Edited by RedEye staff members.
