If he just proposed and you don’t know where to start, here’s a guide to help you navigate decisions for the big day.
12 months to wedding
– Have a vision. When wedding consultant Ali Phillips first meets one of her brides, she asks what they envision for their big day. “I ask if they want a sit-down dinner or a luncheon, the size of the wedding and the budget,” says Phillips, who runs Engaging Events by Ali Inc., a Chicago-based wedding consultancy. She also helps the bride decide between a summer wedding or a snowy winter one.
– Pick a location. “Once we picked a place, it set the tone for everything else,” says Mandee Rosenthal, 25. She and her fiance are getting married at Navy Pier this summer.
– Set a date. Summer weddings are the most competitive, Phillips says, and most Chicago locations need to be booked a year in advance.
Six months to wedding
– Book the photographer. “In a way, this is the most important part. [The photos] are the only things that last,” says Jami Schaer, wedding consultant and owner of the Vernon Hills-based Clever Bride. “Some of the best photographers book even before the bride gets the ring on her finger.”
– Pick a videographer. Brides are increasingly booking videographers along with their photographers, Phillips says. “I saw things on my video that I didn’t remember. You have it as a family heirloom,” she says.
– Find a florist. “Bigger flower shops can do several weddings in a day, but smaller ones only do one,” Schaer says.
– Finalize your dress choice. “Sometimes the minute they get engaged, they go out and try on dresses,” Phillips says, and brides who are getting their dresses made might need more time.
– Book a DJ or band. Schaer says most brides book the band and photographer at the same time.
– If you’re in a rush, it’s still not too late to plan the entire wedding, Schaer says. “I had one bride set on getting married in the summer, which was four months away. She had 300 guests. You just have to be organized.”
Two months to wedding
– Send the invitations, choose the favors, and print the programs. “Hobbies come out in the favors. Rather than having cookie-cutter weddings, brides want this day to be about them and their families,” Phillips says. Brides also are adding creative touches such as putting their new initials on menu cards, place cards and the tablecloths.
Potential pitfalls
Here are where some couples get stuck:
– Deciding on the mood of the wedding.
Does he like fancy black-tie events while you’re more comfortable in sneakers? “The first month was the most stressful. We were making 95 calls a day, trying to figure out what to do and what all the families wanted,” says bride-to-be Mandee Rosenthal. Once she and her fiance agreed on a less formal wedding, the rest of the decisions were easier.
– Making decisions together.
These days, grooms tend to play a bigger role in setting the mood of the wedding than they traditionally have, says
wedding planner Ali Phillips. “I often meet with both the bride and the groom. There’s a trend toward grooms being
involved in planning the day and picking vendors,” she adds.
– Setting a budget–and sticking to it. “You need to say, ‘here it is’ and work around that,” Phillips says.
– Keeping up with the Joneses.
“This isn’t show and tell; it’s about you getting married. You can’t look at elaborate affairs and try to top them,” wedding consultant Jami Schaer says.
Don’t break the bank
The average wedding in the Chicago area is $25,000, according to surveys in the wedding planning industry. Wedding consultant Jami Schaer estimates that the average North Side wedding costs between $40,000 and $45,000. If those numbers sound high, here are some ways to cut costs:
– Design your own dress.
“You can get a Vera Wang style dress for 20 percent less,” Schaer says. One of her brides paid $700 to have a dress made that would have cost $2,500 in a store. An added bonus is that the dress will be an original. “It won’t be something you’ve seen in a magazine,” says wedding planner Ali Phillips. “You can say, ‘These are the materials I like,’ rather than being at the mercy of what a [bridal shop] brings out,” she adds.
– Don’t get married on a Saturday.
“Everybody wants a Saturday. You can find good Friday and Sunday prices,” Phillips says.
– Get married in the winter.
“One bride told me, ‘I want to get married in the off-season when I barely have to do any decorating,’ ” Phillips says. Snow can replace excessive–and expensive–flowers.
– Go local.
When one of Schaer’s brides had a small budget but a big wedding, Schaer called the local high school and asked the photography teacher for her best students. She got great photos for a fraction of the price of a professional photographer.
– Hire a DJ instead of a band.
You’ll probably cut your costs in half, Schaer says.
– Share costs.
Wedding consultants say brides’ families no longer pay for everything. “Multiple people tend to contribute. The couple puts money toward it, the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom,” Phillips says.
– Find alternatives to a sit-down dinner. “If you’re creative, you can have a cocktail reception and then you don’t have to spend as much. For 80 people, it would cost about $10,000,” Phillips says.
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Budget helper
Whether you are working with $50,000 or $5,000, here’s how to divide your money, according to Chicago wedding planners
Ali Phillips and Jami Schaer:
DRESS 5-10%
MUSIC 10-15% FOR A BAND
5-7% FOR A DJ
PHOTOS 10-15%
FLOWERS 20%
MISC.:5%
THE VENUE 50-65%
REDEYE
