Get in on this bowl season’s serious action
Far be it for politicians to let an opportunity go by to make a crazy bet on a sporting event.
So since Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm and Texas Gov. Rick Perry are wagering children’s books from a Michigan-based publisher and Texas citrus fruit on the outcome of the Michigan-Texas Rose Bowl, it’s time to step in.
Here are our suggested bets for the other New Year’s Day (and beyond) bowl games:
COTTON
Tennessee (9-3) vs. Texas A&M (7-4)
If Tennessee wins: A&M students must sing “Rocky Top” for the rest of their lives.
If A&M wins: Tennessee students must sing “Rocky Top” for the rest of their lives.
OUTBACK
Wisconsin (9-2) vs. Georgia (9-2)
If Wisconsin wins: Georgia sends Wisconsin a truckload of lovely peach trees.
If Georgia wins: Wisconsin sneaks in under cover of darkness and destroys every last one of Georgia’s peach trees.
GATOR
Florida State (8-3) vs. West Virginia (8-3)
If FSU wins: No more jokes about Florida State being “Free Shoes University.”
If West Virginia wins: Florida State has to ship a pair of free shoes to every West
Virginian.
CAPITAL ONE
Iowa (9-2) vs. LSU (9-2)
If Iowa wins: The Hawkeyes get to keep the LSU royal Bengal tiger.
If LSU wins: The Tigers get to keep Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz.
FIESTA
Utah (11-0) vs. Pittsburgh (8-3)
If Utah wins: Salt Lake City gets the Steelers.
If Pittsburgh wins: Utah becomes Southern Idaho.
SUGAR
Auburn (12-0) vs. Virginia Tech (10-2)
If Auburn wins: They’re named the national college football champion of the Southeast.
If Virginia Tech wins: Auburn must attend the real national championship in Miami.
ORANGE
Southern Cal (12-0) vs. Oklahoma (12-0)
If USC wins: Pete Carroll becomes the next president of the United States.
If Oklahoma wins: Bob Stoops gets a three-picture deal at Paramount.
