TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Jimmy, Phil, Leo picked the Super Bowl winner. Whizzer and Bag Boy did not. Now what?
TOPIC 2: Using this year’s ads as a guide, predict a potential 2006 Super Bowl commercial.
TOPIC 3: Consider the 23-0 Illini. Does it ever help an unbeaten team to lose a game?
TOPIC 4: How much faith do you have in the health of Magglio Ordonez’s knee?
TOPIC 5: What’s going to be the fallout from Jose Canseco’s new book?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Hey, we have to move on. Except Whizzer and Bag Boy. You’re fired.
Ford promotes its new hybrid car by having Burt Reynolds mauled to death by a parakeet.
Only, and I can’t stress this enough, if it’s not during the NCAA Tournament.
Well, consider this: My best offer to him was a non-guaranteed
10-day contract to wax my car.
Thousands and thousands of muscleheads will read their first book.
PHIL THOMPSON
What do you expect from a dumb animal and Whizzer?
Jennifer Lopez is the unsuspecting foil in a Heineken ad. Heinie? Can? Alrighty then.
Does winning a game help a winless team? We have plenty of case studies on that.
He’s a huge risk, people. Instead, as his agent, let me introduce you to the slugger to your far right, Bagglio.
If what he says about McGwire is true, his bones should break cleanly when the bat hits him.
LEO EBERSOLE
Whizzer is sent to his “unhappy place”; Bag Boy is sent to watch figure skating.
Cedric the Entertainer kicks a talking Diet Pepsi truck in the groin.
Yes, you’ve gotta drop one before the Big Ten tourney. And I hear you’re hosting NU Feb. 23 …
Dunno, I always get its voice mail.
I’d like to inject that guy with a swift kick in the keister.
WHIZZER
The line is drawn. Real people living in their world, fake people
living in ours. Right, Bags?
I’ll be shocked if the five of us don’t have a deal with Snickers by then.
Lose a game? Yes. Lose a game to Michigan? Never.
Hard to say. But Maggs, instead of telling us, just show us.
He only “made out” with Madonna? Oh, what a complete downer.
BAG BOY
I’m suing.
Some beermaker will answer my prayers and launch a beer with more carbs.
Hard to say. This is new territory for me. I say “maybe.”
Zero.
Many implicated players are suddenly hiring their own PR
specialists.
