– Scandal of the Week: It had been such a fairy tale: Nicole Richie and Adam “DJ A.M.” Goldstein — two recovering drug addicts and former fatties, now newly thin, madly in love, engaged to be married. Alas, Young Hollywood’s golden couple “shock[ed] friends and fans” when they confirmed their split on Dec. 7, reports Us Weekly in a somber, two-page elegy, adding: “In a town filled with fly-by-night romances, the couple seemed singularly solid. . . . ” But Richie, says a source, “has changed so much . . . now she gets dressed up to walk her dogs.” With the couple now living in separate homes, Us concludes, “the reality of their painful split is impossible to ignore.” Dear Lord, have we anything left to believe in?
– The bump beat: The tabs are tracking actresses’ girths as closely as the National Weather Service monitors offshore storm systems. Star’s photo (“Bump Watch!” P. 42) shows singer Gwen Stefani with a suspiciously protruding tummy — and, as the tab notes with its usual restraint: “Gwen isn’t the only A-lister looking rounder!” Indeed, three photos of Nicole Kidman show her belly pushing through a tight cashmere sweater. Meanwhile, In Touch’s Angelina Jolie pic on P. 12 includes a helpful yellow arrow pointing to her middle region, suggesting that she, too, is with child. After two pages of in-depth analysis, In Touch concludes: We don’t know.
– The Headline Quiz:
Which did not appear in this week’s magazines?*
A. “Lost’s Jorge’s holiday weight-gain worries”
B. “Ex-fiance says Nicollette is desperate to deport him”
C. “Renee & Kenny: They’re dating again!”
D. “Jessica’s ordered to cover cleavage”
– Bush league: Just in case you didn’t see enough of George Bush on TV lately — like on Sunday night, when you were trying to watch “Desperate Housewives” — People includes a four-page softball interview with him and the first lady. Asked about twins Barbara and Jenna’s new lives as AIDS volunteer and grade school teacher, respectively, the prez says: “I feel I am a proud father of two humanitarians.”
– Read her lips: Jessica Simpson, whose pending divorce apparently hasn’t caused her enough pain, seems to have voluntarily had her lips stuck with needles, reports to In Touch. Side-by-side photos compare Simpson’s mouth on Aug. 28 (caption: “little lips”) to her swollen, misshapen pout on Dec. 4 — the result of injections of the filler Restylane, says an “insider.” Speaking of lips, Star reports that Angelina Jolie’s ex-lover, former Calvin Klein model Jenny Shimizu, says Jolie’s “mouth is amazing. . . . It’s like two water beds.” Just in case you were wondering (and, admit it, you were).
*A is a fictitious headline. The others appeared in Enquirer (B), In Touch (C), Star (D).
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lhahn@tribune.com
