TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Anyone suffering from post-Oscars syndrome? Explain.
Jimmy Greenfield: All my punchlines include the phrase “Vera’s Wang.”
Phillip Thompson: No. My focus is on the NFL draft prospects, who looked just divine at the recent combine.
Leo Ebersole: No, but Jimmy expressed disappointment at not waking up with Jon Stewart this morning.
Whizzer: Let me put it this way: I’m hung over and e-mailing my answers from Lauren Bacall’s bedroom.
Bag Boy: I’m down $50 after betting “Geisha” to win best sound editing. What was I thinking?
Jimmy Greenfield: “The Sex Pistols” or “Mozart’s No. 6 Orchestral.”
Phillip Thompson: The Dyn-o-mites!
Leo Ebersole: How about something with more local flavor: The Houston Sweat Stains.
Whizzer: The Houston 8 Gamblers. Then change it from “soccer” to “football” and bring back the rest of the USFL.
Jimmy Greenfield: He knew Phil was about to sue him for palimony.
Phillip Thompson: Probably because he can make twice that much if the Redskins sign him as an assistant coach.
Leo Ebersole: Joe Gibbs proved way too radical a coach.
Whizzer: Money can’t buy happiness. Plus, he already had a Hummer, a Benz and three homes.
Bag Boy: With just 22.5 sacks over six seasons, he owes them a lot more than that.
Jimmy Greenfield: Admits steroid use, retires immediately.
Phillip Thompson: He shows up to work and is cordial with everyone. No, that’s too bizarre.
Leo Ebersole: Starting tomorrow, he only speaks to the media in Aramaic.
Whizzer: He goes hunting with the vice president.
Bag Boy: Two-part answer: He interrupts hugging himself to hug a reporter.
Jimmy Greenfield: The mating habits of Finnish biathletes.
Phillip Thompson: Pole gymnastics. OK, stripping. And if by “furthest” you mean Jimmy’s next party, then so be it.
Leo Ebersole: Either indoor lacrosse or the new USA basketball roster.
Petitioning the Arena Football League to play its championship at Tiffany’s.
Bag Boy: Answering this question.
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