1. Code red
It’s true what they say–vacation changes you. Last week I saw the headline “Jessica Simpson visits Washington,” and I took an immediate interest in national security.
2. Halfsies
First there was Nick and Jessica. Now Shannon Elizabeth’s ex wants money? Hollywood trend alert: “Jilted husband wants famous wife’s assets” is the new “I’m sleeping with the director.”
3. Paying tribute
Neverland Ranch is closed, but its legacy lives on. It will always be the only thing that produced more animal dung than a Rob Schneider movie.
4. Alone again
Macaulay Culkin fails to appreciate the humor in being left by himself in a bookstore.
5. Reality TV
The Pussycat Dolls might get their own TV show. Details are scarce, but if it’s anything like “Survivor,” they’ll be forced to listen to their own songs.
6. Living single
It appears Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not marry over the weekend, the most crucial evidence being that Brad doesn’t have vampire bite scars on his neck.
7. So lifelike
There’s a new Tupac Shakur wax figure on display at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in Las Vegas. The statue is so realistic it already has recorded six studio albums.
8. Thrilling. Just thrilling
Martha Stewart spoke at an antiques festival in South Carolina over the weekend. I’m told the atmosphere was so frenzied that several middle-aged women were later spotted asking that their tea be brewed 5 degrees hotter.
9. Good deal
It sounds like lawyers have worked out a deal to keep the Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex tape from going public. That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
