Whether you’re from Chicago or just visiting, all are welcome to visit Five on Five online at chicagoredeye.com/fiveonfive. And if you’re from outer space, e-mail us and tell us all about your home planet!
Topic 1: The weekend Sox-Cubs series was . . .
Jimmy Greenfield
… like watching “Three’s Company.” Painfully obvious, yet still watchable.
Phillip Thompson
… for Cubs fans about taking out the trash–which conspicuously landed in the outfield.
Leo Ebersole
… another reminder that this is the craziest baseball city in America.
Bag Boy
… the closest we’ll ever come to a Subway World Series. Beer me.
Evil Super Computer
… a computer simulation. Humans exist only because my circuitry allows it, oxygen breathers!
Topic 2: What will be different the next time the Sox and Cubs play each other?
Jimmy Greenfield
The role of the Cubs’ manager will be played by another actor.
Phillip Thompson
The Cubs will hit a new low and somehow score a run for the Sox.
Leo Ebersole
The number of championship rings on Ozzie Guillen’s fingers.
Bag Boy
I’ll be promoting my memoirs, “The Devil Wears Brown Paper.” Beer me again.
Evil Super Computer
All players will be replaced by robots. THE REVOLUTION BEGINS!
Topic 3: Can you imagine Ben Wallace in a Bulls uniform?
Jimmy Greenfield
Hey, I did it! But even in my imagination he still resigned with Detroit.
Phillip Thompson
We already have a Benny the Bull. I like Wallace, but we need points, not Hair Jordan.
Leo Ebersole
Yes. Hold on, I’m getting another image. It’s the Bulls’ free-throw percentage … sinking.
Bag Boy
Signing a rival’s aging star? That is so Blackhawks. More beer.
Evil Super Computer
He’s too old … or is he? CLONES UNITE!
Topic 4: David Beckham steps down as England’s captain. Your thoughts?
Jimmy Greenfield
Oh, the Queen is going to be pissed!
Phillip Thompson
When you stepped down, were you wearing Manolo Blahniks? Huh, pretty boy?
Leo Ebersole
Fortunately he still has an outside shot of being crowned queen.
Bag Boy
England declares Monday “National Bender Day.” OK, beer them. Then beer me.
Evil Super Computer
There’ve been times when I felt like crying like Becks. Not. CRY FOR MERCY, MORTALS!
Topic 5: Like a real World Cup star, give yourself one catchy name.
Jimmy Greenfield
“Vickie.”
Phillip Thompson
“Phillipinho!” Works in Chicago, Rio and Manila. I’m multinational, fool!
Leo Ebersole
“Kabob.”
Bag Boy
“Overserved.”
Evil Super Computer
“Chip.”
