TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Who do you see as the new host of Fox’s NFL pre-game show?
Phillip Thompson: Star Jones Reynolds.
Leo Ebersole: Whichever Bears QB happens to be on injured reserve that week.
Brian Moore: I hear Mancow’s out of a job.
No real skills needed for that gig, either.
Bag Boy: Must know football? Must dress sharply? Must relocate from Chicago? Phil, definitely Phil.
Stick Figure: Life is like a box of chocolates.
It melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
TOPIC 2: How would you capitalize on a potential 2016 Chicago Olympics?
Phillip Thompson: “Olympickles, get your Olympickles!”
Leo Ebersole: I’d sign up the 4-by-100-meter relay team to drop off mail and pick up pizza.
Brian Moore: I’d offer my services as an English to Daley-ese translator.
Bag Boy: I’m hawking T-shirts that read “Take THAT, Milwaukee.”
Stick Figure: 2,016 bottles of beer on the wall, 2,016 bottles of beer …
TOPIC 3: Best part about Kirk Hinrich making the U.S. National team is …
Phillip Thompson: Chicago can share in the next national embarrassment.
Leo Ebersole: … he doesn’t have to guard Dwyane Wade.
Brian Moore: … the American flag boxers–or briefs, if he prefers.
Bag Boy: … it exposes his slick ‘do to an international audience.
Stick Figure: I once made a snow angel. He was my best friend. Then he disappeared.
TOPIC 4: Should Danica Patrick make the leap to NASCAR?
Phillip Thompson: Can’t we just fast-forward to her monthly movie appearances on Lifetime?
Leo Ebersole: Only if she chooses to pass up the raw excitement of professional lawn mower racing.
Brian Moore: Sure, if she wants loads of money but absolutely no chance of winning.
Bag Boy: Bigger U.S. audience, cooler cars, chance to appear on Fox shows. Yes.
Stick Figure: Danish people are nice. Some day I’d like to visit them in Daneland.
TOPIC 5: Insulting one’s mother and sister is a no-no. But what’s fair game?
Phillip Thompson: Stick Figure’s big-nosed Grandpa, who looks like this: – @
Leo Ebersole: Insulting one for wearing one’s mother’s and sister’s clothing–cough Phil ahem.
Brian Moore: Insulting one’s manhood, right Phil? You sissy.
Bag Boy: Clothes, hometown, facial hair, breath quality, inability to hit the open jumper, size of rear end …
Stick Figure: Hugs make the world go ’round.
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