TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Bears running back Cedric Benson’s shoulder injury is …
Jimmy Greenfield: … yet another sign theApocalypse is upon us.
Leo Ebersole: … making the Bears consider leaving him and Grossman in a box full of packing peanuts until Sept. 10.
Brian Moore: … proof that Thomas Jones’ voodoo doll works.
Bag Boy: … just about par for the course.
Stick Figure: What’s a shoulder?
TOPIC 2: What was the best part of this Pro Football Hall of Fame weekend?
Jimmy Greenfield: Picking over the grounds for leftover munchies.
Leo Ebersole: Taking a trip to my “happy place” every time the Cowboys or Eagles were mentioned.
Brian Moore: John Madden kept his turkey legs in his sportscoat pocket.
Bag Boy: Five guys in bright yellow coats and at no point did they break into song.
Stick Figure: Pro: I’m a Stick Figure.Con: Nobody likes me.
TOPIC 3: Invent a new sport for X Games that you could actually win.
Jimmy Greenfield: Forehead Blinding
Leo Ebersole: Synchronized Office Chair Twirling. I said CLOCKWISE,Brian! CLOCKWISE!
Brian Moore: Hazardous materialsdiaper-changing.
Bag Boy: Freestyle parallel parking.
Stick Figure: A-B-C-D-E-F-Geee. Hang on X, I’m getting to you soon.H-I-J-K …
TOPIC 4: Describe the impact of the MLS All-Stars beating England’s Chelsea FC.
Jimmy Greenfield: First, let me visit Wikipedia and … hey, those are soccer teams!
Leo Ebersole: It was like finding out that adistant uncle redeemed a $2 lottery prize.
Brian Moore: It’s like the Revolution all over again, except it means nothing this time.
Bag Boy: Honestly, when I heard the news I was absolutely speechless.
Stick Figure: I had a kitten named Chelsea. She played with yarn. I play with yarn too.
TOPIC 5: Phillip Thompson spent Sunday at Lollapalooza. Can you imagine what he’s doing?
Jimmy Greenfield: Using his tired old pickup line: “Do you want to see my credentials?”
Leo Ebersole: Taking a page from the Chili Peppers, he was performing in his underwear.
Brian Moore: Asking people what stage Nick Lachey’s playing on.
Bag Boy: If it’s our same old Phil, he’s telling the ladies all about his big upcoming fantasy football draft.
Stick Figure: Lollipops? I’LL TAKE CHERRY-FLAVORED, PLEASE!
