1. Doomsday
The scariest rumor not coming out of North Korea: Screech’s sex tape reportedly found a major distributor. I’m currently distributing vomit all over my desk.
2. Rock on
The largest diamond discovered in the last 13 years just sold for $12 million at auction. Apparently, Oprah needed a doorstop.
3. Peace plan
Good for Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for showing us that people can set aside their differences to make sure their TV show gets good ratings.
4. Showstopper
And for his next trick, Ozzy will swallow this spike and mumble a few cuss words.
5. Weather or not
Really now, it’s supposed to snow this week? Who signed off on this?
6. Hot stuff
It’s a record: A Nevada man ate 247 jalapenos in eight minutes. Everyone around him then set a record for a mass evacuation when he headed toward the restroom.
7. That’s broke
The sad part about that story is that the guy won $2,000 for eating all those peppers. On the bright side, he’s been looking for an excuse to wear his “I just liquefied my internal organs, and I can’t even buy a plasma TV” shirt.
8. Eye-opener
Jennifer Wilbanks (right), a.k.a. the runaway bride, is now reportedly suing her former fiance for $500,000. Could this man possibly regret his proposal more? Maybe if she ripped off a mask to reveal Kim Jong Il …
9. Less than meets the eye
“Access Hollywood’s” Web site had pictures from the set of “Transformers.” The photos show a giant robot and a tank, so look for the movie to really tug at your heartstrings.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
