Do you have any idea how many millions of germs are lurking out there?
I guarantee that you do not want to know.
You’ll never again want to use a public bathroom, take a plane trip or eat at a salad bar. You won’t use the ATM, push an elevator button, use a shopping cart, take the CTA, switch on a light or let the kids play on the swings at the park. And, please, back away from the remote control in your hotel room. That’s a germ condo on the power button.
In fact, you probably should never leave your house.
Except, of course, that there are platoons of germs there too: on your kitchen counter, the baby’s crib, the telephone.
And for virtually every germy encounter, there is an entrepreneur selling a device to protect you from those lurking killer microbes–real or imagined.
Some of these products seem like a good idea or, at least, can’t hurt. Others fall under the category of More Trouble Than They’re Worth: in time, in money and in the all-important ridicule factor.
Personally, it would take an Ebola-like plague to get me to strap on one of those surgical masks before I go shopping on Michigan Avenue, but that’s just me.
One person’s “You must be kidding!” is another’s “Hey, that’s a reasonable precaution against disease.”
I’ll let you decide whether you need to commute with your own bus/train commuter strap ($6.50, metrogrip.com) or a supply of disposable vinyl gloves.
Here are some other supplies marketed to thwart the germ invasion. At Walgreens, I found a complete “health preparedness kit” from Nexcare for $19.99. It includes gloves, masks, sanitizing wipes and gels. (But reading the fine print, I discovered that these masks are intended to keep the wearer’s germs from infecting everybody else, not to protect the masked man–or woman–from infection.)
I’m reluctant to snuggle up with those much-used airplane blankets and pillows, but there is no way I’m going to haul my own nap gear onto an airplane. Instead, I use a black cashmere scarf–to wrap myself and the airline pillow–which I bought for $20 at a summer closeout sale years ago.
If that’s not sanitary enough for you, planesheets.com (818-404-3136) has a $24.99 washable or disposable (2 for $12.99) cover for the entire seat and headrest. TravelSmith sells a compact travel blanket for $30 (travelsmith.com, 800-950-1600). Still willing to add more to your carry-on burden? The best travel pillow around is the down version currently on sale for $34.99 at thecompanystore.com (a down-free version is $15.99; 800-323-8000).
Common sense says you can’t hold your breath for the duration of a plane trip to prevent all that recirculated air from giving you a cold or worse. My approach is to suck it up and hope for the best.
But you can purchase a “personal air purifier” to hang around your neck ($129, travelsmith.com), which uses “revolutionary plasma technology, solid platinum emitters and gold-plated stainless steel collectors” to clean the air.
Back on terra firma, it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to conjure up all the nastiness you’ll find on the handle and baby seat of that grocery cart.
Cleanshopper.com will link you to an interview on “Inside Edition” in which a microbiologist claims the carts can be dirtier than public bathrooms.
Gee, what a surprise that after answering the question “How dirty is it?” this Web site sells products that solve your problem: covers for the handle and baby seat of the cart, and for restaurant high chairs, starting at $22.95; disposable 3-packs begin at $7.99 (800-635-3899).
As for those nasty, poorly equipped bathrooms, magellans.com (800-962-4943) has travel packs of toilet paper, a moist wipe and a seat cover, $6.85 for 10–or just the seat covers, 20 for $6.85.
For the most extreme germ hater, there’s the handler, a keychain/metal hook that you use instead of a hand or finger to touch the remote control, ATM, faucets, door handles and toilet flusher, $10.95 at handlerusa.com (888-942-6353).
Finally, hand-sanitizer gels and wipes are on sale everywhere. For example, you can buy 32 ounces of the stuff (germ-X) for a measly $4 at Walgreens. If using it makes you feel better, well, go for it.
Just keep this in mind: A recent report from Harvard Medical School says that soap and water works just as well.
For more deals and our sales calendar, go to chicagotribune.com/shopping
– – –
Take Ellen shopping
Tell me what’s special about the places you want to show me. I’ll pick the most intriguing excursions and share our adventures. E-mail shopellen@tribune.com or write me at 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Write “Take Ellen Shopping” on the subject line or envelope and be sure to include a daytime phone number.
———-
shopellen@tribune.com
