It appears someone has overstayed his welcome, and it’s not chicagosports.com’s Rahula Strohl. Go home, Obnoxious Colts Fan, you’re not wanted around here! Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: THIS TIME NEXT YEAR THE BEARS WILL BE …
Phillip Thompson: … hopefully at the next Super Bowl in Arizona, where Denny Green will be panhandling.
Leo Ebersole: … following Tom Brady’s lead and ditching the playoffs to pursue lingerie models.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: … preparing to draft the quarterback of the future.
Rahula Strohl: … hungover. 4-12, 10-6, 19-0, doesn’t matter. Hungover.
Bag Boy: … in the outhouse, the poorhouse and my doghouse–as usual.
TOPIC 2: MAKE YOUR CASE WHY REX GROSSMAN SHOULD STAY OR GO.
Phillip Thompson: Keep him for the entertainment value alone.
Leo Ebersole: Keep Rex. It’s imperative that Kyle Orton not be distracted from growing his beard.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Did you see how badly he wanted to cry? Aww, you guys should let little Rex play ball next year.
Rahula Strohl: Stay, and I’ll make three cases: Quinn, Krenzel, Hutchinson.
Bag Boy: I’m not ready to talk about HIM. And what’s that Colts fan doing here?
TOPIC 3: WHAT DID JIMMY BRING BACK FROM MIAMI?
Phillip Thompson: David Caruso and his CSI team are still trying to determine that.
Leo Ebersole: Prince’s backup dancer–at least that’s what he’s calling his new 300-pound friend.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: The latest look: the beard comb-over.
Rahula Strohl: A “Super Bowl XLI” thong signed by Jimmy Buffett.
Bag Boy: A palm tree for me to plant in Colts Fan’s (CENSORED).
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S ONE THING YOU’D EXPECT TO SEE AT AN INDY VICTORY PARADE?
Phillip Thompson: Celebrity appearances by the Budweiser Clydesdales, My Little Pony and Shannon Sharpe.
Leo Ebersole: More videos from the Manning family archives. Those never get old. (Bleh.)
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Indiana local Jared the Subway Guy fits the entire crowd into his old pants.
Rahula Strohl: Electricity. I hear they just got the town wired.
Bag Boy: Lots of cousins. I mean couples. I mean same difference.
TOPIC 5: WITH THE SUPER BOWL OVER, WHAT WILL YOU TURN YOUR ATTENTION TO?
Phillip Thompson: Politics. I believe Sen. Biden and Paris Hilton are planning to run on the same ticket.
Leo Ebersole: The mighty Washington Wizards. Plenty of room on the bandwagon, folks.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: It’s called Pacers basketball. What? Do you really think anyone watches the Pro Bowl?
Rahula Strohl: Pranks. Go ahead, Phil, take a sip of your coffee …
Bag Boy: After I beat Colts Fan into horsemeat, I’m blowing up I-65.
