Phil has a perfect Final Four bracket in the office pool. Brian and Leo do not. And we swear Phil did not slip us some cash to tell you this.
TOPIC 1: TALK TRASH ABOUT YOUR NCAA BRACKET OR SOMEONE ELSE’S.
Jimmy Greenfield: I didn’t fill one out, and I’ve still picked more games correctly than Phil.
Phillip Thompson: I’m currently tied for first place, ahead of Brian and Leo, but thanks for not playing, Jimmy.
Leo Ebersole: Nice job putting Duke in the Final Four, Brian. So is Mel Gibson in your Nobel Peace Prize pool?
Brian Moore: Jimmy was so scared to lose the office pool, he didn’t even fill one out. Typical Kansas fan.
EvilSuperComputer: You’ve disappointed me for the last time, Gonzaga. PREPARE FOR ANNIHILATION!!
TOPIC 2: WHO WOULD YOU EXPECT TO SEE IN THE CHESS FINAL FOUR?
Jimmy Greenfield: MIT, Harvard and, of course, Florida and Ohio State.
Phillip Thompson: Leo and three of his most frequently wedgied friends.
Leo Ebersole: Yale, Cal Berkeley, MIT and Evil Super Computer.
Brian Moore: MIT, Russia School of Chess Mastery, Chewbacca and Evil Super Computer.
EvilSuperComputer: Me against IBM’s Deep Blue–after we incinerate the two humans!
TOPIC 3: WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG TO FIX THE NET IN THE FLORIDA-OREGON GAME?
Jimmy Greenfield: Florida already had cut it down during their pregame practice celebration.
Phillip Thompson: Because the Oregon Ducks were caught in it?
Leo Ebersole: Because, surprisingly enough, Florida’s cheerleaders aren’t accomplished knitters.
Brian Moore: Must have been all those bricks Oregon was putting up.
EvilSuperComputer: Gators coach Billy Donovan must be making himself a thong. HAHAHAHA!
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF KOBE BRYANT’S 50-POINT STREAK?
Jimmy Greenfield: It makes his brilliance on the court even more removed from the way he is off of it.
Phillip Thompson: Kobe shows kids that if they work hard, they too can grow up to be … sniff, sniff … a ball hog.
Leo Ebersole: There’s hope this will give him the confidence to take more shots for his team.
Brian Moore: Proves he’s probably one of the most talented, utterly despicable players the NBA’s ever seen.
EvilSuperComputer: Pshaw! I’ve had my 3,985th straight 50-point game on NBA Street. I run the Street.
TOPIC 5: HE’S BEEN A PERFECT GENTLEMAN–ARE WE SEEING THE REAL LOU PINIELLA?
Jimmy Greenfield: The real Lou Piniella doesn’t live here anymore.
Phillip Thompson: Sweet Lou is a saint, and he does not have my arm twisted behind my back.
Leo Ebersole: Not until a base gets uprooted and thrown 30 feet.
Brian Moore: Wait until the Cubs blow a game that really counts, then we’ll see Mt. Piniella erupt.
EvilSuperComputer: I sure hope not. You can’t bake a cake, Lou, without breaking a few legs.
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