Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in Wednesdays. RedEye’s Scott Kleinberg joins in when he feels like it. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Scott Kleinberg
Mike North
Stick Figure
TOPIC 1: WHY ARE THE BULLS GETTING BLOWN OUT?
If I knew that, I’d be on ESPN and not slinging crap here with these dorks.
Some teams just have your number. Unfortunately for the Bulls, that number will be 0 for 4.
They put too much faith in their $60 million star.
Huh … Detroit’s good?
You can’t make a balloon fort without blowing them up, silly!
TOPIC 2: IF ANYONE CAN COME TO THE BULLS’ RESCUE, IT’S …
Babe Didrikson Zaharias.
… David Hasselhoff — THE HOFF!
… Michael Jordan.
… Superman!
… the Tooth Fairy! (Or as you all know him, Sir Anthony Hopkins.)
TOPIC 3: WHAT’S THE MOST BORING TEAM STILL IN THE NBA PLAYOFFS?
The Yale Crew team.
The Spurs. Surgical patients can choose Tim Duncan instead of anesthesia.
See No. 1.
They wear red — andtheir mascot has horns.
The Town of Snoozapalooza! How do you get there, Mayor Kleinberg?
TOPIC 4: WHAT VIDEO HAVE YOU MADE THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP ON YOUTUBE?
Writing Five on Five in the nude. Today.
That geyser trick with the Mentos and Diet Coke? I did that once while sitting in the bathtub.
I can’t say too much, but it stars me, a map and a meatball.
It’s hard to pick.I have a bag full.
Look at me, I’m nothing but tubes!
TOPIC 5: WHO OR WHAT IS IAN SNELL?
A solid contributor to my fantasy team. DO NOT rip on “The Snell.”
It’s either a Pirates pitcheror a Nazi boy band.
He’s why the Cubs don’t stand a chance against the Pirates. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Phil.
It’s a type of catfish!
I think that’s Pig Latin for “I Smell,” but again, you’ll have to ask Mayor Kleinberg.
