The 2007 Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee crowns a new champion Thursday night as a national television audience beholds its finest phonetic savants, especially the twitchy ones who spell out words on their hands or on the back of their goofy name cards.
Last year, the winner was a New Jersey girl who nailed the word “Ursprache” (a proto-language), not to be confused with the word “Urlacher” (a Pro Bowl linebacker). And in that spirit, we present the Tribune Sports Spelling Bee?a challenge to spell correctly some of the trickiest names, past and present, from the Chicago sports world.
Accompanying each name are the clues typically afforded the National Spelling Bee contestant? or, at least, a reasonable facsimile of those clues. Answers are on Scoreboard. Provide your own goofy name card.
1. A.J. P——— Definition: A crouched figure whose cleated feet have impeccable aim.
In a sentence: “%(@?(*#*#&*# that ————- guy!”
Language of origin: Annoyish.
Alt. pronunciations: “$@#*@&$” or, in the pluperfect tense, “%(#&$(#.”
2. M— B——
Definition: Efficient creature that relies on finesse and accuracy.
In a sentence: “Hey, he really is ————.”
Language of origin: From the Latin, negotiatus contractus extensionus.
Alt. definition: Figure known to slide around on tarps.
3. B—— A———
Definition: Linebacker primarily known for special-teams exploits.
In a sentence: “No, that’s —————, not Lance Briggs.”
Language of origin: Loviese.
4. A—– N——
Definition: Hard-nosed creature full of energy yet prone to astonishment at referees’ calls.
Languages of origin: Incredulese, Bewilderish.
5. D—— B——
Definition: A large, generally inanimate object that had more fouls (163) than field goals (97) in a brief Bulls career.
In a sentence: “Is that ——————–, or a concrete pylon?”
Alt. definition: Lumber.
6. J—- D——–
Definition: Obscure Sox infielder prone to critical base-running blunders.
In a sentence: “Man, I’d really be angry at ————- for that gaffe against the Orioles in ’83, if I could only pronounce his name to identify him correctly.”
Language of origin: From the early Greek for “heavy on the consonants.”
7. D— D———-
Definition: Well-known figure with a little-known White Sox past.
In a sentence: “At least ————– wasn’t around long enough for Isiah Thomas.”
Alt. definitions: 1. Knicks legend. 2. Not Bill Bradley.
8. I—– I——
Definition: Figure usually spotted backing up Bears defensive linemen.
In a sentence: “So we got —————- playin’ da football down dere, eh?”
Language of origin: Canadian.
9. G—– G——–
Definition: Record-holding former Bears punter.
In a sentence: “They punted back then? Really? And ————— did it?”
Alt. pronunciation: “Who?”
10. M— K———
Definition: Native to Chicago; pursues world domination at private university.
Language of origin: Polish; late Condescendese.
Alt. definitions: 1. Deity (In dialects local to Durham, N.C.). 2. Antichrist (In dialects local to Chapel Hill, N.C., and most everywhere else.)
BONUS: M——- A————–
Definition: Sticklike creature that frequents remote NBDL venues; known primarily for ability to recuperate from vicious sucker-punches.
In a sentence: “Hey, —————: duck!”
Alt. pronunciations: None–accurate pronunciation yet to be achieved by any English-speaking person.
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SPELLING BEE ANSWERS
QUIZ APPEARS ON THE BACK PAGE
1. A.J. Pierzynski
2. Mark Buehrle
3. Brendon Ayanbadejo
4. Andres Nocioni
5. Dalibor Bagaric
6. Jerry Dybzinski
7. Dave DeBusschere
8. Israel Idonije
9. George Gulyanics
10. Mike Krzyzewski
Bonus question:
Martynas Andriuskevicius
———–
IN THE WEB EDITION
NATIONAL SPELLING BEE
7 p.m., WLS-Ch. 7
For more Chicago names, go to chicagotribune.com/sportsbee
bchamilton@tribune.com
