There was one thought that must have been running through the mind of anyone watching the Florida Marlins’ Miguel Cabrera trot around the bases for the second of his two home runs last Saturday against the Royals:
“He must be exhausted.”
Ah, yes, another fat joke. A cheap shot, sure, but we work with what we’re given.
With the Marlins hoping for their annual midseason surge to finally hit, Cabrera remains the most compelling story line on the team, both for his production and portliness.
It’s just too hard to ignore when just four years ago, he was a svelte 20-year-old nicknamed H-O-F because he was so obviously Hall of Fame material, and this season he’s more fit for the H-F-O acronym as a Heavy Former Outfielder.
The popular opinion is that the extra weight means nothing. People say that, other than a few inches on his range at third base, Cabrera has lost nothing by adding the poundage and that anyone critical of him is just nitpicking.
But is it really a crime to ask more from even the greatest of athletes? Is it really OK to feel like the best player on your team is settling just because he happens to naturally settle among the top five players in the game? Is it really that wrong to ask for long-term greatness and hope that your favorite player will eventually be considered an unquestioned all-timer?
While Cabrera continues to put up stellar numbers in his first super-sized season, he also happens to be working his way out of a position. At this rate, he will be an AL-only player by the time he hits 30, with designated hitter as the only responsibility left on his gigantic plate. Wouldn’t it seem like more of an accomplishment if, rather than just concede that he has outgrown his position, Cabrera becomes the best all-time hitting third baseman in the game?
There is the other easy option, which is to let Miggy be Miggy and eventually move him to first base.
It’s plausible, but it is a shame that first has become the crutch for the full-size National Leaguers.
Want some fries with that? Sure, there’s always first base.
Some pork rinds before the game? Sure, there’s always first base.
Pour some fudge in your milkshake? Sure, there’s always first base.
Cabrera’s I-do-my-job-and-go-home response to any overweight talk is not how he feels. It’s more of a defensive reaction by a great player who feels wrongly insulted.
But for teammates who are envious of how easy the game is to Cabrera, watching him grow before their eyes is hardly an inspirational sight. It must have crossed the mind of at least one Marlin this year that a trimmer Cabrera could be better, which would therefore make the team better. The best players in their respective sports tend to give the impression that they’re outworking everyone else.
Tiger Woods doesn’t need to be in great shape to be an elite golfer. Just look at the pudgy man who beat him on Sunday, Angel Cabrera (another chunky Cabrera coincidence?). But Tiger, who lately wears the snuggest of Nike tees to show off his muscles, will probably win five more majors before Angel even sniffs another one because Woods works on his body almost as relentlessly as he does his game.
Miggy, not so much. At this pace, the only way he stays at third base past the next decade is if he’s allowed to park there in a reclining chair with a fishing net as his ball retriever. He certainly hasn’t dropped the weight one would assume natural after playing almost three full months of regular-season baseball (it probably doesn’t help that Dontrelle Willis has opened a bodega in a locker about 10 feet from Miggy, with plenty of candy available for purchase).
The worst part about the fat conversation is that it nearly is overshadowing his personality. Who else picks up his short Mexican teammate after every home run and does the quebradita?
That dance comes after he shakes his wannabe dreads at his other teammates.
Maybe he can incorporate some of that lovable spirit to create some creative ways to drop pounds. Maybe make him dance with Alfredo Amezaga after every batting practice home run. It wouldn’t be much fun for Amezaga, but he is the team’s best utility player.
Anything to help take the mind off Miggy’s fat and keep us focused on his bat.
