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Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Scott Kleinberg
Brian Moore
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: BEFORE SUNDAY’S GAME, PREDICT ONE THING YOU’D SEE ON THE COWBOYS’ SIDELINE.
The only thing worth looking at is in short-shorts.
Terrell Owens planning his next end-zone production with the cast of “Les Miserables.”
A living area with HDTV for T.O.
A real quarterback, Tony Romo, with a superstar receiver, T.O. Bears fans can only imagine it.
Defensive linemen trading Rex Grossman’s teeth.
TOPIC 2: THE ATLANTA BRAVES ARE TO THE CUBS WHAT …
… Kenny Williams is to
the AL Central.
… a bag of nickels is to Tony Soprano.
… “The Price is Right” will be to Drew Carey.
… Santa Claus is to kids everywhere! Handing them gifts they couldn’t get on their own.
… the Cubs would be to the Brewers, if they let them!
TOPIC 3: IS THERE ANY WAY THE CUBS MISS THE PLAYOFFS?
Yes. Have you not been paying attention the last 99 years?
I looked in the standings, and under games back for Milwaukee it read “Cubs-proof.”
Yep. If they oversleep.
Steve Bartman’s not around,
is he?
I see a goat warming up in the bullpen …
TOPIC 4: IS THERE ANY RECORD BRETT FAVRE WON’T BREAK THIS SEASON?
No, he’ll break every single record. Including most TD
passes while retired.
Probably not, but only after
Gray Beard’s kidnapped by
The Rejuvenator people.
The only one I can think of is synchronized swimming.
Phil’s record for most consecutive un-funny Five on Five comments ever.
With both Bears games left,
the only thing left to break
is my heart.
TOPIC 5: FIND A SILVER LINING FOR THE FIGHTING IRISH.
They can’t finish in last place in their conference.
That silver lining is just the glint shining off an oncoming train.
They’re from Indiana and …
oh, never mind.
Hey, at least they didn’t get beat by Duke — right, Northwestern fans?
Their basketball team won’t feel like second-class citizens.
