When Scott Kleinberg heard that Jimmy Greenfield wasn’t in today, he raised a big fuss until we let him be in the first spot. What a diva. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Scott Kleinberg
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Rahula Strohl
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: IS BRIAN GRIESE RUSTY OR JUST BAD?
He’s rusty. Rusty as a 32-year-old nail.
He’s rusty. It’s going to take him a while to get back to bad.
Like a true field general, he got the ball to Devin Hester by setting up Detroit to score quickly.
He’s merely channeling his alma mater.
Oh, don’t worry. He’s just rusty. Next week, he’ll throw six picks.
TOPIC 2: WHAT’S HURTING THE BEARS MOST: BENSON’S FUMBLES, BERRIAN’S DROPS OR INJURIES?
All of the above, and don’t forget the rust.
Injuries. One hasn’t happened yet to Cedric Benson or Bernard Berrian.
Injuries. Pretty soon the defense’ll be down to Urlacher and the cast of “Chuck.”
Thomas Jones’ absence.
Neither. When you treat QB as an afterthought, your team ends up an afterthought. Wow. Poetic.
TOPIC 3: WHOM WOULD YOU HAVE INVITED TO THE CUBS RALLY?
The entire Pittsburgh Pirates team, so they could see postseason jubilation for once. Sigh.
Scott. As a Pirates fan, he may never get to see one.
It sounds like something Albert Pujols should’ve witnessed in person.
Michael Barrett, to whom I say, “This is what happens when teams trade you.”
The White Sox. I would have said, “See what happens when you try.”
TOPIC 4: WHAT DOES ARIZONA HAVE THAT CHICAGO DOESN’T?
Tumbleweeds.
A desert. Much more sanitary than dumping your mobsters in Lake Michigan.
Triple-digit heat that fuels brain-eating amoeba in lakes. Hooray!
A National League pennant in my father’s lifetime.
I have yet to have a can of “Chicago Iced Tea.”
TOPIC 5: HOW DID YOU WELCOME THE BULLS TO CAMP?
Two words. Hallmark card.
I had a row of blow dryers running as Jo Noah and Ben Wallace entered the Berto Center.
With earmuffs. Scott Skiles’ temper is just starting to heat up.
With a sign saying, “Thanks for not starting in September like hockey.”
I threw a party, but Jerry Krause heard about it and crashed it. Awkward. Very awkward.
