Is there any better way to spend a Saturday than with Brian and Supriya? Please, just smile and nod. They’re very sensitive people. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Panelists: Jimmy Greenfield, Phillip Thompson, Leo Ebersole, Supriya Doshi, Brian Moore
(Note, answers go in order of Panelists, from left to right)
TOPIC 1: Can any top-ranked team survive this college football season?
1. Sure, Kansas. We’re this year’s Florida in football and hoops.
2. This wouldn’t happen if they had a payoff system. And no, that’s not a typo.
3. Can a plate of brownies survive atop Rosie O’Donnell’s counter? I think we all know the answer.
4. Nope. Illinois will beat them all — in my dreams.
5. If the BCS system worked, perhaps we’d find the real No. 1 sometime this season.
TOPIC 2: The Bears have a tough matchup in Philadelphia. Any predictions?
1. The Bears lose despite Devin Hester rushing for a TD and averaging 44.7 yards per punt.
2. Westbrook will run around Archuleta so much you’ll think they’re playing musical chairs.
3. Philly fans pelt the Bears with environmentally responsible rechargeable batteries.
4. Figure skating will have abnormally high ratings in Chicago.
5. Someone here will make a lame joke about Cedric Benson. See, what did I tell ya?
TOPIC 3: The 2007 baseball playoffs: Sizzler or snoozer?
1. So far, snoozer. But Red Sox or Indians vs. Rockies will be a classic.
2. Snoozer. But I’m biased. I think World Series teams should be old enough to drive.
Sizzler.
3. Everything about the Rockies is exciting to watch.
4. Is that STILL going on?
5. How about a snizzler. It was sizzling for the hour or so that the Cubs were still alive.
TOPIC 4: Who or what can stop the New England Patriots?
1. The Colts. Peyton’s still the man, and the Pats are peaking too soon.
2. Sabotage from within. As if hearing a beacon, a secret program just activated inside Randy Moss.
3. Only a midseason trade for Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez.
4. Thirty-one coaches with surveillance cameras at practices.
5. Barring injury, nothing. I hear Tonya Harding can take care of that though.
TOPIC 5: Give us a sports-themed Halloween costume idea.
1. A Bears player dressed like a vacuum cleaner with the words “this really sucks.”
2. You can go as a Bears tackler. Any ghost costume will do.
3. You can’t go wrong by dressing up as Touchdown Jesus and carrying transfer papers.
4. Go as a headstone, reading “R.I.P. Chicago championships.”
5. Cover yourself with bruises and, voila, you’re the Bears D after being trampled by Minnesota.
