It’s so cold out that our Five on Five panelists huddled together to stay warm while answering these questions. Watch your hands, Leo. Sign up for the fun at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: PREDICTION TIME: WHO WILL MOVE ON to THE SUPER BOWL THIS WEEKEND?
JIMMY GREENFIELD: New England and some poor sucker of a team.
PHIL THOMPSON: The Packers over Manning & Co. Those Cheesecakes will be having Eli’s for lunch.
LEO EBERSOLE: The Patriots will win both conference championships, plus a rugby tournament in New Zealand.
BRIAN MOORE: The Packers, and with his AARP card, Brett Favre gets discounted travel to Arizona.
TRACY SWARTZ: I have Favretism, but I wish he spelled Brett with one “t,”like Brit.
TOPIC 2: INVENT A GADGET THAT OPPONENTS COULD USE TO SLOW DOWN TOM BRADY.
JIMMY GREENFIELD: My invention is simple and easy. I call it the Jessica Simpson.
PHIL THOMPSON: The Patriot Axe. Come get your manicure, pretty boy.
LEO EBERSOLE: What’s that plane that transports the Victoria’s Secret models? Ah, yes: Airhead Force One.
BRIAN MOORE: Bradyvision. It’s a hologram that makes the defense look like Hollywood actresses.
TRACY SWARTZ: Multiple choice paternity tests.
TOPIC 3: TELL US ABOUT YOUR COLLEGE’S BASKETBALL ARENA.
JIMMY GREENFIELD: Kansas’ Allen Fieldhouse. You have to see it to believe it.
PHIL THOMPSON: Norfolk State’s arena was named for Joseph G. Echols, who I’m pretty sure invented the echo.
LEO EBERSOLE: Welsh-Ryan Arena is cozy and houses dedicated fans — many of them Northwestern fans.
BRIAN MOORE: IUPUI’s The Jungle is just a simple gym with seating, but I watched Carlos Knox drop 50 there.
TRACY SWARTZ: It’s Donovan McFabb for the Gators.
TOPIC 4: THE BULLS PLAY DETROIT SATURDAY. WHO GETS BENCHED AND WHY?
JIMMY GREENFIELD: Victor Khryapa. Because he’s only slightly better at basketball than he is at hockey.
PHIL THOMPSON: If Jo Noah got benched for unruliness, then you have to bench Ben Wallace’s hair.
LEO EBERSOLE: Chauncey Billups. Because the Pistons believe in showing mercy.
BRIAN MOORE: Ben Wallace after he tries to trade himself back to Detroit.
TRACY SWARTZ: Benedict Wallace. Traitor.
TOPIC 5: FAN VOTING IS UNDER WAY FOR THE NBA ALL-STAR GAME. WHO GETS YOUR VOTE?
JIMMY GREENFIELD: “Fan” voting? I guess that rules me out.
PHIL THOMPSON: I’m putting a vote in for LeBron James, but for NASCAR’s All-Star Challenge. Go, speed racer!
LEO EBERSOLE: Caron Butler, a.k.a. Superman disguised as Clark Kent.
BRIAN MOORE: Joakim Noah gets a sympathy vote. Since Tracy also will vote for him, he’ll end up with two.
TRACY SWARTZ: Jo Noah. But I’d rather he sigh than cry for my vote.
