The Super Bowl is set, and Leo already is planning his party. Don’t forget the dip this time, OK? We missed Jimmy last year. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Scott Kleinberg
Leo Ebersole
Brian Moore
Whizzer
TOPIC 1: IT WAS SO COLD DURING THE GREEN BAY-NEW YORK GAME THAT …
… electric toe socks were going for $2,000 apiece.
… cheese was frozen solid on all orders of nachos.
… the ghost of Vince Lombardi was cut into popsicles and traded to Honduras for firewood.
… Packers fans traded their usual cheeseheads for piping-hot nacho cheeseheads.
… some players didn’t mind being at the bottom of the dog pile.
TOPIC 2: HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE THE TWO WEEKS OF HYPE LEADING TO THE SUPER BOWL?
By asking The Question Guy to only ask one Super Bowl question a day.
Thinking about the Steelers winning in 2009.
This year I’m finally ponying up the cash for the Jimmy Johnson vaccine.
Knowing I won’t have to watch the Colts again makes it much easier.
I’ll just hang out in my doghouse — if I can get Joakim Noah out of it.
TOPIC 3: IF THE SUPER BOWL WEREN’T named THE SUPER BOWL, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?
What did I just say? You son of a …
The Magillicuddy.
The Tour de Jockstraps.
The Bestest Game Ever.
The World Championship. Hey, if baseball can use “world,” why not the NFL?
TOPIC 4: THEY BEAT THE PISTONS. NOW THE BULLS FACE THE Grizzlies on MONDAY. WHAT iS LIKELY TO HAPPEN?
They’ll find a way to mess it up.
Let’s just say it doesn’t end pretty for the Bulls and leave it at that.
They finally meet a team more immature than them. A Nickelodeon watch party is scheduled. It doesn’t take a genius to
predict the inevitable: Ben
Wallace plays and coaches.
After a tough loss, players vote to relocate to Las Vegas.
TOPIC 5: TRIBUNE CO. IS LIKELY TO OWN THE CUBS THROUGH 2008. WHAT does that MEAN?
There’s still time for makeup sex.
A front-page headline that reads “CURSE STILL ALIVE” in September.
Mark Cuban will have to waste his money elsewhere. Maybe revive the XFL?
The Sun-Times will write about how bad Tribune management is about, oh, 4.3 times per week.
Tom Skilling will be the fourth man out of the bullpen.
