The Bulls’ season is half over. Our crew will be here all year.
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Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Brian Moore
TOPIC 1: THE BULLS LOST TO MEMPHIS AFTER BEATING DETROIT. WHO GETS THE BOOT NEXT?
Nobody. They all deserve what they’re getting.
Jo Noah. Oh wait, did you mean “boot” or “booty”?
Ben Wallace. The Lakers are offering Nicholson and DiCaprio, which is more than fair.
When Benny the Bull is the
face of your franchise, anyone
is expendable.
Time to start looking at the
bigwigs. Sorry, John Paxson.
TOPIC 2: WHAT TRADE WOULD YOU MAKE TO IMPROVE THE BULLS?
Deng, Hinrich and whoever
else for Kobe. Think it’s still on the table?
I’d trade the Bulls bench for
an Oscar Mayer sandwich.
Both are baloney.
Building on No. 1, ship Ty
Thomas and a draft pick to
New York for Spike Lee.
Anyone with a heart for
Ben Wallace.
Anything but Kobe. He is an egotistical cancer that should be avoided at all costs.
TOPIC 3: MAKE UP A NAME FOR THE TWO WEEKS LEADING UP TO THE SUPER BOWL.
Hell Weeks.
Bowl Slaw — an unfilling side dish that detracts from the
main event.
Given the typical media
presence, “14 Days Later.”
The waste-of-time Pregame Show.
The Black Hole.
TOPIC 4: HOW RELIEVED ARE YOU THAT COLTS COACH TONY DUNGY DIDN’T RETIRE?
Ranks right up there with being relieved oil companies have been given tax breaks.
If he went out Tony
Soprano-style, would they play “Don’t Stop Achievin’ “?
It’s a relief knowing at least one coaching job isn’t available to the Petrinos of the world.
America is one again.
I am not a Colts fan, therefore
I am not a Tony Dungy fan.
TOPIC 5: SEN. JOHN MCCAIN AND CHUCK NORRIS ARE VERBALLY SPARRING. HELP THEM SETTLE IT.
OK. First one to break away from the kiss loses. GO!
They should use coot force.
Let’s make it fair: McCain is allowed brass knuckles. Norris is allowed one beard whisker.
It better stay verbal for
McCain’s sake.
John, you do realize
Chuck Norris could kick
your ass, right?
