Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in on Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Mike North
Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Leo Ebersole
Phillip Thompson
TOPIC 1: COLLEGE TEAMS ON THE BRINK ARE CALLED ‘BUBBLE’ TEAMS. COME UP WITH A NEW NICKNAME.
“Dead Men walking.”
“May The Swartz Be With You” teams.
“Brink ‘n’ problem.”
“Verge-ins.”
Close your ears, Dick Vitale … “Diaper Doodies.”
TOPIC 2: UNC WILL RETIRE TYLER HANSBROUGH’S JERSEY. DOES HE BELONG IN THE RAFTERS WITH JORDAN AND WORTHY?
He’s the player of the year — ’nuff said.
Sure, why not? It’ll only make his NBA fall that much more painful.
Though he turned down money to play at UF, he doesn’t deserve a burial at sea.
Yes. And with a little work, the Dolph Lundgren Lookalike Hall of Fame beckons.
How do I put this? … He’s not Worthy! He’s not Worthy!
TOPIC 3: EXPLAIN WHY MLB COMMISSIONER BUD SELIG MAKES $15 MILLION.
Watching the owner’s back — I guess it’s worth that much
to them!
Scott Boras is his agent.
Bud wiser than the rest of us? True.
Ignoring the inherent problems within your sport all day doesn’t just pay for itself.
Toupees aren’t cheap! Look on wigwarehouse.com — it costs $265 for the “Ron.”
TOPIC 4: CHRISTIE’S IS AUCTIONING A NUDE PHOTO OF GISELE BUNDCHEN. WHAT SHOULD TOM BRADY DO?
Buy it and then sell it for twice the amount with his autograph.
Loan me some money.
Nude, you’re getting a Gisele!
Retaliate by sending the auctioneers nude photos of Bill Belichick.
If she insists on being a centerfold, he’ll just have to fold in another Super Bowl.
TOPIC 5: A GROUP IS PROTESTING SI’S USE OF CHIMPS IN ITS SWIMSUIT ISSUE. WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT?
Did they pay them in real money or bananas?
Nothing. I’m just surprised to hear “The Mike North Morning Show” team made the issue.
Monkey business aside, the chimps still will inspire ooohh ooohh aah aahs.
Nothing. If swimsuit models take a sudden interest in monkey-looking creatures then I’m all for it.
They let players pose with their wives, so how’s that any different?
