All right, it’s time for March Madness.
Except of course, around here.
That’s because college basketball around here absolutely stinks.
DePaul. I think they should be kicked out of the Big East. Why? I found out today they’re holding a Big East Tournament, and DePaul wasn’t even invited.
That’s either because a) they stink, or b) they’re boring. Probably some combination of the two.
Elsewhere around Loserville, Northwestern “competed” in the Big Ten Tournament.
Fess up, how many out there really thought the men’s Wildcats had a decent shot at winning this thing?
Yeah, you two who raised your hands, you’re being checked for possession.
OK, that leaves us Notre Dame as our team of local interest. They’re in the Big East Tournament, they can compete in it, but be honest, these guys aren’t beating Louisville or Georgetown or any other teams that can beat the Chicago Bulls.
So, in order to ensure that college basketball stays relevant in Chicago through at least mid-March, I am proposing, yes, a brand new conference.
This one is called the Windy City Conference, and so far, it’s basketball only. I’d like to add football eventually, but let’s make it one suckfest at a time please.
In the Windy City North division we have: Northwestern, DePaul, Chicago State, Illinois-Chicago, Loyola and Notre Dame.
In the Windy City South division we have: Bradley, Eastern Illinois, Illinois State, Northern Illinois, Southern Illinois and Western Illinois.
Now, a quick word on geography: Some of these schools aren’t around here. Southern Illinois, for example, is closer to Florida than to Chicago. Fine. Who cares? Got news for you. Southern Illinois would be the best team in this conference and win its tournament every year.
Naturally the Windy City Conference would want an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament.
Puh-leeze!
Not that they would deserve a bid, but the whole idea is to isolate the bad teams; keep ’em quarantined in one conference.
Speaking of isolating badness, Javier Vazquez gets the nod as the White Sox starting pitcher on Opening Day.
People, if this is their best starter, it’s going to be a long season.
And it’s only March.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
