Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in on Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Mike North
Bag Boy
Phillip Thompson
TOPIC 1: WRITE A POETIC TRIBUTE TO ONE OF THE TEAMS IN THE PLAY-IN GAME.
Will you need me? Will you still feed me? When you’re 64?
Thanks for the pop-in Coppin / After this bout you’re a Copout.
Coppin State will decide their fate. Let’s hope they are not too late — huh?
Deareth Coppin State: You sucketh, t’was always thus. (That’s Shakespeare for “you suck”).
Mount St. Mary, ain’t that scary / Don’t mention “The Mount” to Tracy, because she will get racy.
TOPIC 2: WHAT DO MASCOTS DO WHEN THEY’RE NOT CHEERING ON THEIR TEAMS?
Knock their blocks off.
Practice flipping more than a Chicago politico.
Try to get a date with a girl without a credit card.
Talkin’ with the other teams’ mascots. Discussion usually involves low pay and lack of a health plan.
Spa treatments: Algae wrap, a little hydrotherapy, delicing — you know, the usual.
TOPIC 3: WHO WOULD MAKE A GREAT MASCOT AND WHY?
Dick Vitale. Would he even need a costume?
Bag Boy could carry the Sacks and the Seedy team. Sarah Jessica Packer?
Hawk Harrelson — paint him black and gold! He’s a Hawkeye.
I always thought Jimmy would. I’ve seen him on those tiny bikes. It’s how he gets to work, in fact.
Something about Jimmy tells me he could fill in for Clawed, the American Eagles mascot.
TOPIC 4: HAVE YOU EVER HECKLED SOMEONE AT A SPORTING EVENT?
Absolutely. One of the great pleasures in life behind bourbon and hookers.
A novel idea, but I don’t duck or heckle, mist or hide at games.
Too many times.
I called Albert Belle something unprintable. No regrets, because I know it in my heart to be true.
Years ago. But my seats were so high up it’s just now reaching him.
TOPIC 5: BOB COSTAS DEFENDED HIS COMMENTS THAT MANY BLOGGERS ARE ‘GET-A-LIFE’ LOSERS. THOUGHTS?
I’d argue with him but he’s right. Then again, Marv Albert’s also an announcer so …
Costas contributed to the book “Loose Balls,” so is his life up for grabs?
I’m in total agreement; Greenfield has a blog, I’m sure.
Upon further review, yes, I need to get a life. Someone hire me full-time already.
Here I was worried Costas was an arrogant, snobby little twit, but I’m glad he’s put that notion to rest.
