As they say in Hollywood: Nobody knows anything.
It’s true there and true in Chicago.
But everyone thinks they know.
Example: the NFL Draft. I am sick of hearing how the Bears blew it. They didn’t get a quarterback or a stud running back, blah, blah, blah.
You’re missing the point, geniuses. The Bears offensive line stinks. We haven’t run the ball in years. If we don’t fix that, it doesn’t matter who’s playing quarterback. You can stick Tom Brady back there, and trust me, he’d be merely average.
Side note: I would kill for a merely average QB right now, but that’s me.
Point is, we drafted Chris Williams. He goes to the left tackle spot, John Tait slides back to right tackle. Boom. You’re better at two spots.
Also, enough with the talk of the kid being soft because he wouldn’t fight a kid at the senior bowl.
Back in your caves, cavemen.
Next, running back. The kid from Tulane beats out Cedric Benson. We’re better off there as well.
Receiver. All we did was draft one of the most productive receivers in SEC history. Wow. That was hard.
Now. QB. I seriously doubt any of those QBs were difference-makers, but I also happen to know nothing.
Hey, some good news for the Cubs: Alfonso Soriano is coming back.
Some bad news for the Cubs: Alfonso Soriano is coming back.
Look, the guy is gifted, no doubt about it.
The problem is, he’s not gifted as a lead-off hitter.
Review session: Take walks, work pitch counts, do whatever it takes to get on base.
That’s not exactly Soriano. Do us a favor, Lou Piniella, and drop him down to like the fifth or sixth spot and watch some magic happen.
Yes, he has amazing power. Fine, let him do his thing.
And let Mark Cuban do his thing. You’re welcome anytime here, sir. Those seats you sat in the other night? You can have them for every game if you like. You just have to buy the team.
The fans come with them, however. So, yes, Cubs fans are obnoxious. They also show up, so the announcer from Cincinnati can zip it.
Lee Elia, you are forgiven, sir. I admire your candor — and your language. I wish I could use it here.
By the way, I’ll take either Avery Johnson or Mike D’Antoni as coach for the Bulls. Both are proven NBA winners.
Then again, I know nothing.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
