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1. The short of it

“Ant-Man”? That’s a superhero movie? I mean, I’m assuming Tom Cruise is on board, but still …

2. Mixed signals

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are engaged, which comes as shocking news to the many men under the misguided impression she was saving herself for me — er, for them.

3. Quiet confidence

Reynolds, as you may recall, was previously with Alanis Morissette. So at least he’ll be prepared to deal with Scarlett’s singing.

4. Lil superstar

Meet the new centerpiece of the Bulls’ rebuilding plans for next season.

5. In style

“High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens declared Mary-Kate Olsen as one of her favorite fashion trendsetters. She then zipped up her garbage bag coat and left.

6. Tag line

Cameron Diaz! Ashton Kutcher! What happens in Vegas … should stay out of movie theaters.

7. Mission accomplished

President Bush revealed that he has constructed a limestone altar for his daughter’s upcoming wedding. Finally he can say he was the architect of something that went right.

8. Trade ya

“The Wire” co-star Tristan Wilds has signed on for the “Beverly Hills, 90210” spinoff. Wow, slight drop-off in quality there, you think? That’s like splitting up with Cate Blanchett and rebounding with Nicole Richie.

9. Brake time

Apparently Nine Inch Nails has made another new album. Fellas, slow down. The kids from “The Hills” can’t even make asses of themselves that quickly.

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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM