1. Parts unknown
Hope everyone managed to stay out of the rain. If I learned anything this weekend, it was that wet T-shirts are a lot less exciting when they’re on people who look like I do.
2. Gray day
The last time Chicago got soaked like this, the ink was drying on Cedric Benson’s contract. (Aaaand back to you, Whizzer, on Page 13.)
3. The changeling
A woman has apparently been giving the gossip press fits by posing as Angelina Jolie’s assistant. Honestly though, doesn’t Brad Pitt already have enough imitators?
4. Trading places
Justin Timberlake (right) golfed Friday. Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, Tiger Woods lip-synched to a crowd of 14-year-old girls.
5. New guard
A kung fu-fighting panda had the No. 1 movie in America, followed by a deadly hairdresser. Somewhere, Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes have their heads buried in their hands.
6. Sharing is caring
New York City Opera has commissioned an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain.” And if it needs any horses, “Jerry Springer: The Opera” is happy to lend a few cast members.
7. Everybody’s doing it
Wow, the cheerleader from “Heroes” is coming out with her own album? Even the Lohan girls are rolling their eyes.
8. Extras, extras
John Stamos is set to star in a new movie for Lifetime. He’s expected to run into at least four of his former “Full House” co-stars on the set.
9. As seen on TV
Snoop Dogg is offering relationship advice to Jay-Z and Beyonce. People, this is how bad reality TV series get started.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
