New rule: Every time the White Sox lose to the Tigers, Soxman has to wrestle a live tiger at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Show us your funny side at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
Brian Moore
Soxman
Phillip Thompson
Jimmy Greenfield
Scott Kleinberg
TOPIC 1: DID THE BEARS SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY ON DEVIN HESTER?
It depends. How much do
victories generally cost, because he’ll give you quite a few.
He’s being paid like a No. 1. Let’s hope he doesn’t stink like No. 2.
I know if he’s running off with their money they’ll never catch him.
Absolutely not, and I don’t even know how much money he got.
No, not if they were trying to overpay for someone who’s not nearly as good as he thinks he is.
TOPIC 2: WHY HAVE THE CUBS BEEN STRUGGLING?
You must be new here. You see, there’s this thing called
the curse …
Why do geese fly south for the winter? Instinct.
Hey, they won Sunday, so we can all put our blinders back on.
Because they’re cursed or because they played poorly, one or the other.
Arrrggh. Because I put a hex on them the last time they beat the Pirates.
TOPIC 3: A FOURTH RIDER WAS BUSTED FOR DOPING ON THE TOUR DE FRANCE’S LAST DAY. HELP him OUT.
Here’s a sign that says “look at me” because you’re never gonna be heard from again.
I told you guys: No more vitamin B12 injections from
Roger Clemens!
I can’t. That sport’s image really needs a shot in the arm.
I know a good attorney. Call me at 555-BA-BONDS.
Don’t worry. No big deal. It’s not a real sport anyway.
TOPIC 4: MAKE A PREDICTION ABOUT THE CRITICAL WHITE SOX-TWINS SERIES IN MINNESOTA.
The Twins own the Sox.
Quentin will hit and Paulie will K, Ozzie will swear and have
something to say.
The Twins go up on the Sox by a half-game and Ozzie goes off half-cocked.
Twins sweep. Next question.
The Twins will sweep. You heard it here first.
TOPIC 5: EAGLES CHEERLEADERS WEAR RECYCLED-BOTTLE BIKINIS IN AN ECO-FRIENDLY CALENDAR. COMMENTS?
I hope the bottles were clear.
That depends: Are we talking clear glass bottles or colored ones?
So that’s what Soxman meant when he said he was busy
“saving the environment.”
Green is the new horny.
I thought I was the only one who did that. I feel much better now.
