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Tracy Swartz
Rahula Strohl
Phillip Thompson
Jimmy Greenfield
Leo Ebersole
TOPIC 1: MAKE UP BRETT FAVRE’S ITINERARY FOR TUESDAY.
He’ll don some flip-flops and a big bull’s-eye, maybe like a tramp-stamp.
1. Bask in fans’ love.
2. Avoid bullet of assassin hired by Aaron Rodgers.
8 a.m.: Breakfast. 9:30: Watch teammates do sit-ups. Noon: Nap. 2 p.m.: Retire. 2:01: Unretire.
9:01 a.m.: Destroy Aaron
Rodgers’ life. 9:04 a.m.:
Consider retirement.
1 p.m.: Throw interception to kill key drive and prove to team you haven’t changed.
TOPIC 2: WHY WOULD A PLAYER CHOOSE TO LEAVE THE NBA TO PLAY OVERSEAS?
Overseas, it doesn’t look weird paying strippers in coins.
Over $1.50 to the Euro? Female exchange students looking for tour guides? Sign me up.
If you’re Zach Randolph, what better way to fight extradition?
Even NBA players hate
NBA refs.
For starters, you can get Gucci bedsheets at factory-direct prices.
TOPIC 3: WHAT ARE THE ‘BEER OLYMPICS’?
Can’t beat the Vinter Olympics: Goldschlager, Dos Lunas Silver Tequila, bronzer (for jaundice).
You don’t know? Communist.
It’s a chug of war in Brew York City. … Don’t blame me, blame Google.
The Bourbon and Hooker
Olympics for children.
Three events: Caps, beer pong, flip-cup time trials. As it was in ancient Greece.
TOPIC 4: HOW WOULD WATCHING THE OLYMPICS ON YOUTUBE BE DIFFERENT THAN TV?
The Olympians would have a shot at fame on YouTube. TV is just a turnoff.
You might actually watch live sports instead of a series of sappy tear-jerker stories.
Buffering will cost a few sprinters new speed records.
You have to have smaller eyes to watch it on YouTube.
Exactly the same, except the bronze medalist in fencing has to duel Chad Vader to the death.
TOPIC 5: SOME ACCUSED ERIN ANDREWS OF WEARING A SKIMPY OUTFIT IN THE CUBS’ CLUBHOUSE. THOUGHTS?
Gators always know how to show off their talent.
Accused? Or complimented?
New rule: If Lou Piniella wearing the same outfit would make you go blind, then it’s off limits.
That’s so sexist. And just because she was dressed like Paris Hilton.
If that’s a crime, then throw me in jail, constable. … But maybe not the “Oz” jail.
