When Adam Caldarelli packed up at chicagosports.com and moved to chicagotribune.com, do you think these jokers helped him? Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
ADAM CALDARELLI acaldarelli@tribune.com
BRIAN MOORE brmoore@tribune.com
PHILLIP THOMPSON plthompson@tribune.com
JIMMY GREENFIELD jgreenfield@tribune.com
LEO EBERSOLE lebersole@tribune.com
1. What is your magic number? Explain.
Whatever it is, let’s hope it has a dollar sign in front of it.
4, the maximum number of these jokers around me that I can handle at any one time.
8. “Magic 8 Ball, how will the Sox do?” Answer: “Outlook not so good.” (true story)
8675309. Phone number of my old girlfriend, Jenny.
26: Number of times I’ve cut Brian off before he reviews the “Sex and the City” movie.
2. Ex-Bear Brian Griese will face his old team. Does that help him or hurt him?
I would say help him, but considering his new team is the Tampa Bay Bucs, well …
He faces his old team, but he’s back with his older team. I just blew your mind, didn’t I?
Hurt him, literally. He’ll be a Griese stain if Tommie Harris gets to him.
This is a trick question: Every team is Griese’s old team.
I can think of a few Bears defenders who want to make it hurt.
3. Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson lost his starting job. Who will be next?
Greg Olsen?
Ricky Williams. There’s a joint out there somewhere with his name on it.
Whoever was bad enough to be a backup to Tarvaris Jackson.
Bronko Nagurski.
Matt Cassel will be replaced by Tom Brady’s throwing arm sewn onto Gisele’s body.
4. What’s the real reason the Tribune won’t be hiring Jay Mariotti?
Wait 11 months and it’ll be Mariotti, Mike North and Bag Boy in this space.
Besides being an arrogant, unlikable, egotistical blowhard, I can’t think of one reason.
He’s banding together with Mancow and Mike North to form the Legion of Doof.
Not for lack of trying. What a disgrace that it was even considered.
Costco stopped selling those Hannibal Lecter steel-restraint-thingies.
5. Dancing, commercials, sports commentary. What can’t Warren Sapp do?
Drop 50 pounds.
Interest me.
Tell his agent, “No.”
Dancing, commercials, sports commentary.
See Russia from his house.
