You might be dateless and defenseless against Valentine’s Day nonsense, but that’s no reason to waste a perfectly good weekend. Instead of seeking refuge from romance, embrace your single status — or renew your vow to avoid Valentine’s drama — at these alternative bashes.
Cobra Lounge
235 N. Ashland Ave. 312-226-6300
If you … prefer headbanging to heartbreakingThen … rock out at the St. Valentine’s Massacre Weekend with burlesque acts and a freak show featuring the nail-driving Reverend B. Dangerous (Friday); and an indie-rock show with Lonesome Cougar, The Chamber Strings and others (Saturday).
When: 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday
Price: No cover
The Copa
1637 N. Clybourn Ave.
312-642-3449
If you … crave sloppy kisses
Then … show PDA at Puppy Love 2009 with pooch-themed drinks such as $3 Red Dog bottles and Chocolate Lab shots while your loyal canine companion munches on free treats.
When: 8 p.m. Saturday
Price: No cover
Enclave
220 W. Chicago Ave. 312-654-0234
If you … think Valentine’s Day is ridiculous
Then … Mingle with Chuy Bravo, who appears on the E! late-night show “Chelsey Lately”as Chelsey Handler’s diminutive sidekick. In honor of St. Valentine, Bravo dresses up as Cupid for the clubby set.
When: 9 p.m. Saturday
Price: $20; no cover before 11 p.m. with R.S.V.P.: enclavechicago.com
Abbey Pub and Restaurant
3420 W. Grace St.
773-478-4408
If you … like bawdy girls and boys
Then … Sex up your look in burlesque attire for the Broken Hearts Burlesque Ball. The Valentine’s Eve singles party features cabaret and boy-lesque performances along with beats by DJ Joe Black.
When: 9 p.m. Friday
Price: $12-$15
F.O’Mahoney’s
3701 N. Broadway
773-549-0226
If you … want to hook up
Then … socialize with strangers during the bar’s cute matchmaking game. How it works: Take a card showing one half of a celebrity couple and, whether you’re Brad looking for Angelina or Katie seeking Tom, work the crowd to find your mate. United pairs get a shot and a keepsake photo.
When: 9 p.m. Saturday
Price: No cover
Reggie’s Music Joint
2105 S. State St.
312-949-0120
If you … love game shows
Then … Spend Valentine’s Eve trying to score a date for the big night at a “Love Connection”-style game show, which takes place between live sets from blues band Coldcock Jones & The S**thawks. Half-price wine bottles and $5 martinis are sure to loosen up tongues for some interesting Q&A sessions.
When: 8 p.m. Friday
Price: No cover
Fat Cat
4840 N. Broadway
773-506-3100
If you … need to drown your sorrows
Then … commiserate with other bitter bachelors and bachelorettes at the Love Hurts Anti-Valentine’s Day party. Includes $5 themed cocktails with names like the Breakup Martini (Effen vodka, blackberry puree, white cranberry juice and ginger).
When: 8 p.m. Saturday
Price: No cover
Old Town Pub
1339 N. Wells St.
312-266-6789
If you … are a competitive drinker
Then … Play beer pong all day — and relish your singledom — at the bar’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Bash. Would Cupid approve? Who cares. The party includes $3 Jell-O shots, $3.50 Bud Light bottles and $4 bombs.
When: 11 a.m. Saturday
Price: No cover
Butterfly Social Club
722 W. Grand Ave. 312-666-1695
If you … just wanna dance
Then … Show off your moves to DJ Word at the Do Not Disturb … Valentine Jam, where you can scope wrists for red bracelet-wearing singles without getting the “I’m taken” brushoff. Includes free chocolates.
When: 9 p.m. Friday
Price: No cover
Halligan Bar
2274 N. Lincoln Ave. 773-472-7940 If you … don’t feel festive at all
Then … Booze it up at the Lincoln Park pub’s Valentine’s Day Can Suck It bash. Drink specials include $2 domestic drafts and bottles and $5 Red Bull and vodka cocktails.
When: 11 a.m. Saturday
Price: No cover
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metromix@tribune.com
