“Dancing With the Stars” doesn’t mess around. The show, returning at 7 p.m. Monday on ABC, has become infamous for sidelining celebrities who dare to take on the rigorous training and performance regimen it requires.
Two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O’Dell — have bowed out before the competition even starts because of injuries. (The singer has a fractured tibia in both legs; the “Access Hollywood” co-anchor, a torn meniscus.) Double ouch! And if past years are any indication, those two won’t be the only ones taking one for the “DWTS” team. Let’s have a look at the odds of injury for the remaining celebs. There’s at least one dude we’re thinking should be making out just fine.
Who’s getting hurt?
CELEBRITY
Lil’ Kim
SPECIALTY
Rap music
HOW IT’LL HELP
She’s quick on her feet.
ODDS OF INJURY
Low
CELEBRITY
Shawn Johnson
SPECIALTY
Gymnastics
HOW IT’LL HELP
She’s a gymnastics whiz.
ODDS OF INJURY
Very, very low
CELEBRITY
Steve Wozniak
SPECIALTY
Technology (like Apple computers)
HOW IT’LL HELP
It won’t.
ODDS OF INJURY
High
CELEBRITY
Lawrence Taylor
SPECIALTY
Football
HOW IT’LL HELP
Umm … it’s football!
ODDS OF INJURY
Very, very, very low
CELEBRITY
Belinda Carlisle
SPECIALTY
Being in The Go-Go’s
HOW IT’LL HELP
Our lips are sealed.
ODDS OF INJURY
Not so much
CELEBRITY
Denise Richards
SPECIALTY
Reality TV
HOW IT’LL HELP
She knows the deal when cameras are on.
ODDS OF INJURY
Low
CELEBRITY
Chuck Wicks
SPECIALTY
Country music, dating Julianne Hough
HOW IT’LL HELP
He’s dating a pro.
ODDS OF INJURY
Low
CELEBRITY
Ty Murray
SPECIALTY
Rodeo, being Jewel’s husband
HOW IT’LL HELP
He’s a bull rider, people.
ODDS OF INJURY
Incredibly low
CELEBRITY
David Alan Grier
SPECIALTY
Telling jokes
HOW IT’LL HELP
It won’t.
ODDS OF INJURY
Moderate
CELEBRITY
Gilles Marini
SPECIALTY
“Sex and the City” nudity
HOW IT’LL HELP
Apparently he’s pretty fit.
ODDS OF INJURY
Low
CELEBRITY
Steve-O
SPECIALTY
Shocking stunts
HOW IT’LL HELP
Body punishment is his business
ODDS OF INJURY
Insignificant
