Bear it out
CLTV producer and blogger Jerry Riles talks sports at weblogs.cltv.com/news/local/chicago. Give us your answers at chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/5on5.
Leo Ebersole
Scott Kleinberg
Alex Quigley
Jerry Riles
Bear Jordan
What is priority No. 1 in Bears practices this week?
Heal Matt Forte at all costs. Consult a witch doctor if necessary.
Proving that Jay Cutler is the best in the NFL — they sure make him out to be that.
Not hurting Jay Cutler. I have faith.
Who’s going to be first in the chow line AFTER practice? That’s always the No. 1 priority.
Stretching Devin Hester to 6-foot-4.
Judging the Bears in August is like …
… judging Mel Gibson after one beer.
… picking the “American Idol” winner in the first tryout show.
… letting Michael Vick dog-sit. It’s still WAY too soon.
… judging the Cubs in October. Completely Useless By September!
… foraging for roots and berries in December. It doesn’t make sense!
How can you tell the Cubs are on a West Coast trip?
Carlos Zambrano is pushing tummy tucks as the way to ease the pressure on his back.
When you text them at 8 p.m., they are eating dinner.
Len and Bob punctuate every third sentence with “dude.”
Carlos Zambrano is eating grapes instead of munching on bananas.
Their post-game spread includes reds and whites from Napa Valley.
How can White Sox slugger Carlos Quentin break his recent slump?
Don’t say “break” around Quentin! Quentin smash! Rrrrrrrr!
One word: breakfast.
It’s a family newspaper, I can’t say it. Just ask Mark Grace for the answer.
Hang out on Rush Street with Jay Cutler all night drinking Patron shots.
Visualize swatting a salmon with his massive paw. Works for me.
Say something to cheer up Tiger Woods.
It could’ve been worse. You could’ve choked against Sergio Garcia.
Well, at least your wife is hot, dude.
Your career earnings + endorsements = $769,440,709. There, there. It’s OK.
You still get to go home to Elin. Talk about a hole-in-one.
It was generous of you to let someone else win for once.
