It’s our fault
We apologize in advance if our gang’s a little slow. Still trying to get over the turkey hangover. See if you can do better at redeyechicago.com/5on5.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Rahula Strohl
Alex Quigley
Julie DiCaro
Who is performing the worst for the Bears right now?
The offensive line. Possibly the worst unit of any kind to collectively wear a Bears uniform.
Performing Bears? I thought the Circus Trip was over.
Robbie Gould. He’s totally not buying into the team concept of failure.
Anyone with a jersey number in the 50s, 60s, or 70s, except #55.
Urlacher. That guy’s done nothing but stand around all season.
Who would you like to see as the Bears head coach?
Bill Cowher or Mike Shanahan. Anyone else would be Wanny, Jauron, Lovie reincarnated.
Khloe Kardashian. She’s a hot new name, and if we’re ever short a middle linebacker …
Anyone who can complete a sentence without his audience dozing off.
I am calling for some serious Shanahanigans for this team.
Dan Hampton. I think being terrified of their coach would do this team some good.
What did the Circus Trip tell us about the Bulls?
That they’re no different from any other post-Jordan era team.
That Michael Jordan will be the last “ring” master they’ll ever have.
That 10 p.m. CST is clearly their bedtime.
Spending two weeks on the road is bad for your jump shot.
The who? Oh, are they still playing sports?
Make a sports prediction for December.
The Bears will embarrass themselves in direct proportion to the number of games they play.
Tiger Woods will be accused of infidelities after crashing a Christmas party.
The NFL will announce that it’s flexing the Bears-Lions Jan. 3 game to next preseason.
Prediction: pain. (Can I make a side bet that Phil answers the same way too?)
Two more Bears games before Alex Quigley is in a rubber room, rocking and mumbling “Super Bowl Shuffle.”
What’s the logical conclusion to the Tiger Woods accident saga?
Tiger somehow continues to be the most boring superstar in sports history.
He snubs Oprah to go on Tyra, who snubs his story to talk about her own bumper car scare of ’05.
He wins golf tournaments. It’s the only logical conclusion to any Tiger Woods saga.
There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Tiger and Elin both wind up on “The View” to promote their reality show “Out of the Woods.”
