Mouthing off in front of your teachers would never be condoned, but all goes out the window when we start talking sports. Wanna take part? E-mail us at themash@tribune.com.
THIS WEEK’S CHATTERHEADS
Allison Prang, Bartlett
Yogi Patel, Maine East
Sara Crook, Barrington
Tanya Mookerji, Barrington
MODERATOR: How could things get any worse for Tiger Woods?
ALLISON: He could actually get lost in the woods …
YOGI: He could lose $1 billion earnings by getting drunk and gambling it off in a bad golf match due to a series of flub shots.
SARA: Maybe if he was attacked by a tiger … that would be quite ironic.
TANYA: If he loses “Gatorade Tiger,” because that is just sweet.
MODERATOR: One tennis player’s girlfriend reportedly dumped him for playing too much PlayStation 3. How would you console him?
ALLISON: It’s OK. Just go back to your controller …
YOGI: Find him a girl addicted to PS3 so they can play together!
SARA: PlayStation 3 … console … baha. No pun intended. Um, I’d probably get him a game in which he can have a virtual girlfriend, maybe that’ll make him happy.
TANYA: She probably likes Wii tennis better. Get him a Wii, and it’s a match made in heaven.
MODERATOR: Chicago speed skater Shani Davis called comedian Stephen Colbert “a jerk” for calling Canadian Olympic officials “syrup-suckers.” Why should Davis care?
ALLISON: He is just jealous of Colbert’s realistic take on America and his fan base.
YOGI: Perhaps he’s Canadian.
SARA: Not only does he speed skate, he has an intense secret obsession for hockey. Canada is his homeland.
TANYA: Maybe he’s a secretly offended syrup-sucker.
MODERATOR: The Cubs plan to make several changes to Wrigley Field in 2010. Make a suggestion.
ALLISON: Improve. Quality. Of. Baseball.
YOGI: A new team. The current one is starting to get old and isn’t working as well as it used to.
SARA: Make it look like a UFO. Then, with Soldier Field, it’ll look like an alien attack on Chicago.
TANYA: They need to change the team. But no matter what, don’t change anything about the Wrigley hot dogs.
