Hot Sox
If RedEye had a Five on FiveFest and nobody came, did it happen? Follow along at redeyechicago.com/5on5.
Jimmy Greenfield
Kevin Pang
Adam Caldarelli
Sarah Spain
Amy Freeze
What’s a must-see at this year’s SoxFest?
Steve Lyons performing “Baseball Pants on the Ground.”
Hawk Harrelson’s “You Can Put It On The Bored” highlight reel.
Must-see and SoxFest go together like Bobby Jenks and Jenny Craig.
Someone with a full set of teeth and a high school diploma.
I hear Southpaw got a new tat.
What would be your autograph-seeking style at SoxFest?
I’d go for quantity over quality and get Scott Linebrink’s 96 times.
The Andruw Jones Method: pen comes in contact with the ball once every six times.
If that video I watched is any indication, give Alex Rios his space.
Oh, I don’t seek people out — my fans come to me.
“Buehrle or Bust” on a home-made T-shirt.
What’s your favorite hockey move?
There are so many, but I’d have to say Quebec to Colorado.
“The Blind Side” — wait, hockey isn’t spelled h-o-k-e-y?
Toss up between the triple Salchow or the quadruple axel.
Going five-hole. No, hooking! No, hitting from behind! I’m 12.
Carom (a rebound of the puck off the boards).
How could the Jay Leno-Conan O’Brien debacle be turned into a sport?
Slap a jersey on Leno that says “He Hate Me” and let Team Conan run after him.
Peacock fry-off.
A fight to the death. They both suck.
MMA with a twist: Jay can fight only with his chin and Conan only with his hair.
No game. Conan won’t play; it’s not fair. It’s his ball — he’s going home.
If the Dallas Cowboys can have a boxing match in their stadium, then …
… a tired disaster of a sport could have a football game in a boxing ring.
… the United Center can host a basketball team. Well, a man can dream …
… Soldier Field can have a real football team. No? Crap.
… the Bears can get a legit playing surface at their stadium. Seriously.
… I can have the World’s Strongest Man Competition in my backyard. Woot.
