I’m glad the Bears respect the time-honored tradition of benchmarking activities on designated day of the week. It helps us plow through the week more comfortably knowing a welcomed routine awaits.
Remember your grade school favorites? At Southridge Elementary, Fridays marked “Pizza Burger Day,” when fellow chunkers and I lined up for the savory but unhealthy treats for just 15 cents a throw.
Wednesdays in Lake Forest now means “Fairy Tale Day.” It’s when offensive coordinator Mike Martz has reporters form a circle around him, then whispers fantastic stories from imaginary football games.
It is a much needed breather just two days after “Smug Day,” celebrated best when head coach Lovie Smith presides. Smith arrogantly defended his offensive line this week, intimating his big fellas actually helped it reach four victories in the first five weeks.
The truth is the Bears managed to overcome their mushy matadors to win games against Detroit (1-5), Dallas (1-4), Green Bay (3-3) and Carolina (0-5).
Martz is the best, though. He used the word “remarkable” to describe the job Mike Tice as done with his big fellas. Not the adjective I would have chosen.
Martz also spoke of a line that began to come of age during in the second half of last week’s loss to Seattle. The offensive mastermind then turned defensive when pressed by the Tribune’s Brad Biggs regarding an ill-fated play that featured barely-a-tight-end Greg Olsen at left tackle.
“Did you see the tape?” Martz snapped. Factually, Biggs does watch a second time. Sometimes a third.
Nobody needed to, however, to debunk Martz’s gibberish about a better second half. You likely recall the only touchdown the Bears scored in the half was on Devin Hester’s punt return.
If Martz is just protecting his players, I get it, but he needs to stop insulting the intelligence of a fan base in a city that knows bad football. And that’s the only way to describe the Bears offense for the past three weeks.
The Bears have protected Jay Cutler so poorly, Redskins cornerback Carlos Rogers publicly acknowledged how much he can’t wait to get Solider Field to get after a team with “holes all over the place.” Rogers also said Cutler gets the yips and generously throws into coverage.
After their little early-season teases, Team McCaskey is taking the form I expected. The Bears have their worst offensive line most remember. They have a coach whose offensive system doesn’t mesh with the quarterback’s skills.
The Bears have no identity offensively and coaches who give mixed messages on where the “balance” lies. They don’t have a running game. They’ve proved (for the second straight year) that having former head coaches on staff means less than it appears.
They’ve been disagreeable and dislikeable. In the case of Cutler, disengaged. Cutler never sounded more mamby pamby than during Wednesday’s other benchmark, “Jay Day.”
And despite the condescension, despite the fairy tales, we all will be watching Sunday at noon when Donovan McNabb returns home for a game I believe his Redskins will win.
This is the best traditional day designation — “Football Sunday.” As frustrating as the Bears have been, I still prefer watching them play to listening to them talk about it.
If the Bears were a thinking bunch administratively, they wouldn’t have plopped “Fairy Tale Day” on Wednesdays. Too close to Thursdays, which designate “Who You Crappin’?” on the Score’s “Boers and Bernstein” show.
Dan McNeil hosts “The Danny Mac Show,” weekdays between 9 and 1 on WSCR-AM 670.
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