I’ve never quite fancied myself a total Jay Cutler hater, but I know I don’t like him, despite my best efforts. I feel as though this puts me in a category with much of Chicago’s football fan base.
While the Bears were quick to wife him up this offseason with that huge contract, Chicago fans still are understandably apprehensive about the idea of committing to a long-term relationship with a 31-year-old QB with nothing but a lonely playoff win on his resume.
Forgive us for having cold feet, it’s just we’ve been hurt before—a lot. We’ve had, like, 40 guys come and go in the last decade. Oh, and it definitely doesn’t help that we’ve had to watch the Packers rub in our face the fact they found the man of their dreams in Aaron Rodgers.
Why don’t we love Jay? Are we too damaged by past failed quarterbacks to ever again be considered emotionally available? Is this our fault? I’m here to tell you the answer is “no,” Chicago. It’s not you, it’s him.
Let’s start on the field. Sure, he has a cannon for an arm—it’s undeniably impressive to watch him send the ball thundering 50 yards off his back foot—but his inability to grasp the concept of finesse is frustrating. Eventually, you have to understand that you can’t water a flower pot with a fire hose, Jay. And the decision-making—my goodness. It’s never a matter of if he is going to make a catastrophic mistake, but when. Watching Jay in late-game situations is like watching someone walk blindfolded across a highway.
Perhaps his on-field shortcomings could be forgiven if he weren’t such a dud off the field. If I were to create a Venn diagram illustrating the personality traits of Cutler and those of a piece of toast, it would likely yield a single circle.
But while he has his detractors, like me, Jay also has a band of followers with an intense loyalty that often borders on tribalism. One negative tweet about Cutler will earn you 140 characters of pure vitriol from these minions, capped off, of course, with #CuttyDoesIt.
As we near the start of another season, we can once again cling to the hope that Jay becomes the QB we always wished he’d be—ridding himself of costly turnovers and demonstrating previously unseen leadership qualities while leading his team deep into the playoffs.
After all, anyone can tell you it’s perfectly common for a guy to completely shed several years of bad habits and suddenly turn into the man you’ve been waiting for. Right? Right? Dammit.
Tim Coffey is a RedEye special contributor.
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