I’m not dumb. Not only that, in many areas of my life, I’m quite smart.
And organized. Go ahead. Stop over unannounced and open a drawer or a closet. I’m one of those people who keeps her pantry items stored in airtight containers, her clothes hung on uniform hangers facing the same direction, and her office folders filed alphabetically. Don’t give me that look. I’m just neat and tidy and a little bit compulsive.
It turns out, however, that this type of anal-retentive organization does not correlate to being masterful in detailing other areas of life. A recent attempt to coordinate five women for a summer picnic and concert revealed that, at least in the social category, I am not just challenged. I’m a mess.
Here I present, with shame, a case study of my own event planning ineptitude.
Email from me to Friend 1 and Friend 2: Hi Gals. The forecast for tomorrow is perfect. What time should we go? I’m happy to drive.
Email from Friend 3, who I forgot was also attending: Hey Sally. You going to the concert tomorrow? Mutual Friend 4 and I will be there. Should we plan a menu?
Email from Mutual Friend 4: I’m coming from work, and I’ll bring wine, grapes, and popcorn. Can’t wait.
Email from me to original Friends 1 and 2, plus Friend 3 and Mutual Friend 4: Great news! We’re now a party of 5! My car fits everyone, so why not meet at my house and I’ll drive. (I omit any mention of timing.)
Email from Friend 3: Sally, aren’t you going early for the benefactors’ reception? (I had forgotten about said reception.)
Email from me to Friend 3: Huh. I forgot about that. I don’t think so. Maybe. Not sure.
Email from Friend 2, sent to all 5: In meetings all day. Will pick up something from Foodstuffs. What is the timing?
I email everyone about food, ignoring the timing: I was thinking shrimp tray, but Friend 4 keeps Kosher, so I’m thinking fritata.
Email from Friend 3: I’ve got blankets and two chairs. Will go separately and pick-up something to eat.
Email from me to full group: Anyone have those short chairs?
Email from Friends 2 & 4: Thoughts on timing?
Email from me: I’m getting confused. Who’s going separately?
Phone call to me, from Mutual Friend, already in the city at her full-time job. “Sal, you need to step away from the emails. I’ll send out info about parking, shuttles, chairs, and food. You just show up.”
Me, over the phone, weeping in relief. “I can ignore the email thread? Thank you.”
Late email from Friend 3: Shrimp is fine. I’ll bring my own food and chair. What’s the timing?
Me to Friend 3: Ask Mutual Friend. I’ve been fired.
I can organize a backpack, find a slip of paper filed away fifteen years ago, and keep track of all of my passwords. But the thought of orchestrating a party gives me hives.
