Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes just after midnight on Thursday Chicago time this week because of my travel plans. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — ericzorn@gmail.com — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
Idea: An app that lets you book a house without the owner’s permission. Call it AirBnE … @riot4rach
If they lift the mask mandate, my ventriloquism career is ruined …@DanMentos
Now that Bill and Melinda Gates are splitting, his longest continuous relationship is with his haircut … @TonyWIVK
Note to annoying people/companies sending me spam: I can’t “unsubscribe” if I never subscribed …@BettyBowers
I don’t know you, but I know that in your house you have a bag full of bags …. @julcasagrande
Rule number one of Gaslighting Club is there is no Gaslighting Club, what the hell are you talking about? …@50FirstTates
I could be in a store desperately looking for gauze to treat a knife wound and I’d still tell a clerk that approached me I was just browsing .. @MelvinofYork
Lucy pulling away that football was the best thing Charlie Brown ever had to prepare him for life. But then she totally screwed him on setting expectations on the cost of therapy ….@LindaInDisguise
We have a no phones at the dinner table rule for the kids with one exception… to google something to prove their father wrong … @sweetmomissa
And here is the winner:
It should be called “Couch Mix” because I’m guessing less than 1% of it is actually eaten on a trail …@RickAaron
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10829507.js
Which of these top 10 tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)
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