Don’t look below the nose and point with your belly button.
Those were some of the funny-but-no-joke takeaways in the light and interactive message from Mitch Isaacs to help attendees of the Valparaiso Community Conference spark connections with others Thursday morning.
Isaacs was the keynote speaker of the annual event held at Valparaiso University’s Harre Hall.
Before Isaacs took the stage, Mayor Jon Costas introduced VU’s new president, Rev. Brian Konkol. “The word I would use is ubiquitous,” Costas said of Konkol. “He’s everywhere. I was part of the selection process. I was impressed with all the candidates. Brian certainly stood out.”
Konkol joked about the resemblance his penchant for thick, dark-framed glasses and bow ties gives him to Orville Redenbacher and repeated the famous quote, “‘If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ There is no Valparaiso University without Valparaiso.”
Then Costas told the crowd of about 100 that only 22% of U.S. adults trust the federal government to do the right thing all the time. “This declining level of trust is also true at the local level,” he said. “This story is a story of border-crossing – intentionally connecting with those in the other camp,” he said.
So Isaacs, of the non-profit Shafer Leadership Academy, set to work working the room in the name of helping the city’s leaders make meaningful connections by improving their ability to read the room. The group analyzed a variety of photographs of human interactions illustrating different body language.
“Body language is really divided into one of two cues,” he said: body language that says we feel safe or unsafe, illustrated by open versus closed; relaxed versus uncomfortable; and confident versus insecure.
He also showed photos of people interacting at real Valparaiso events, such as a police officer who crouched down to get on the same level as a little girl sitting on her dad’s knee while the two traded big smiles.
There were hand-shaking exercises, eye-contact practicing – the key, according to Isaacs, is not actually eye-contact but the Power Gaze, which focuses on the middle of someone’s forehead – and lots of laughter.
He also shared how to break into a conversation already happening, when to give up trying, and how to let your body language live a little larger than life when communicating virtually, because the camera makes movement look more subtle.
During a brief question and answer period, Costas worked in his own advice. “One of the things I try to tell young people is to offer your name,” he said, explaining the brains of the mature crowd have met a lot of people. “It’s rarely done.”
Valparaiso resident and financial consultant Justin McCurdy found the tips and lessons helpful. “The digital portion was helpful because I work from home,” he said. “The big emotions thing stood out to me,” because he does lots of Zoom calls. “I like his definition of body language being the outer reflection” of your inner reality.
After lunch, attendees were able to participate in breakout sessions offered by the city on the modernization of city services, native planting tips for an environmental impact, updates on the Valparaiso Police and Fire Departments, and exploring grants and resources available to neighborhood groups.
The city also purchased a subscription to the Shafer Leadership Academy. Citizens can visit https://www.shaferleadership.com/valpo/ to take advantage of free leadership workshops.
Shelley Jones is a freelance reporter for the Post-Tribune.
