When the headlines hit last month that a prominent member of the Aurora community had been charged with long-term sexual abuse of a minor, my first thought was of course for the alleged victim.
Behind every mug shot is a trail of confusion and heartbreak. And when the alleged abuser is a respected member of the community, we are appalled even more because we tend to link trust and status together when, in fact, prominent people frequently have more access and credibility.
Unfortunately, there’s always collateral damage from these abuse cases. Consider how the world of Michael Herbert’s family has been rocked to the core by the charges against the 55-year-old. Also impacted was the community of Aurora Christian Schools, where he’d served as a school board member and, according to prosecutors, had tutored and mentored students at ACS, where his wife had been a teacher.
Barely a week later, another case of alleged child sex abuse made headlines: 54-year-old Arthur Weathers of Elburn was charged with criminal sexual assault. Police not only identified him as a former coach at First Kill volleyball club in Elgin – his alleged victim was an athlete from 25 years ago – he also was a longtime forensic chemist with the Illinois State Police.
And to this day, every time I pass the former office of Batavia chiropractor David Hanson – where my adult daughter was a longtime patient – I think about his arrest last November for allegedly videoing more than 180 patients in that office, including children, while they were undressing or partially clothed. I wonder what his family is also going through.
Also unsettling was the news that same month that West Aurora’s Washington Middle School teacher Jessica Bergmann was charged with criminal sexual abuse of a former student.
Sadly, these headlines are only from the last seven months and involve charges involving successful, respected members of our communities who were in positions of trust within their institutions. which means those entities also take a hit.
In a letter to parents soon after Herbert’s arrest, Aurora Christian Schools Superintendent Collette House made it clear that the school knew nothing about the allegations or the investigation until Aurora police came to the school on May 14, a fact confirmed by an Aurora Police Department spokesperson, who told me school officials were taken by surprise.
Unfortunately, this dark cloud descended at a time when the well-regarded school was celebrating another successful year. At the bottom of the letter, the superintendent added a final request: Please continue to pray for everyone affected by this situation.
Prayers, indeed, are needed in these cases – where the blast radius extends far beyond the accused.
Law enforcement officials I’ve spoken with about these types of cases are not surprised. They see plenty of deviant sexual behavior and also know how much of it is underreported, especially when it is male on male and there is grooming or boundary testing going on.
“What makes these cases so disturbing is that they challenge our assumptions about people,” said Lori Schmidt, executive director of the Kane County Child Advocacy Center. “When someone viewed as a mentor or leader or beloved community figure is harming children, it shakes our faith in our own judgment and reminds us that trust, while necessary, can sometimes be misplaced.”
Celia Kallas knows plenty about this topic, as well. She herself was a victim, and has spent more than two decades counseling others who were abused, as well as serving on education and training panels throughout the state.
“When I read these headlines, I am just sick to my stomach,” said Kallas, who is director of Lifespring Center in Aurora, where “the majority” of residents at this shelter for women and children have experienced “some kind of sexual trauma.”
These types of cases are never just about one or two people, but involve real people with real families and real communities that get pulled into the ugliness, she told me. And the abusers “don’t just wake up and decide to (sexually abuse a child).”
In many cases, Kallas said, the roots of this behavior were planted long before, frequently through trauma, abuse, isolation, addiction or distorted coping mechanisms that were never confronted or healed.
This does not excuse the harm they cause, which Kallas describes as “evil.” Abusers alone are responsible for their actions, she continued, but if society only reacts after the crime occurs, we are missing the deeper issues that can lead someone down that path.
“Protecting children must always come first,” insisted Kallas, but added that society needs to be more willing to recognize warning signs, address emotional and psychological wounds and build communities “where people are not invisible” to one another.
“We need to invite people into our lives,” she said, adding that prevention can’t just focus on punishment but requires a stronger human connection before lives begin to unravel.
Both experts agree a headline or a story – including one like this that attempts to go deeper than a police press release – will never explain the complexities of these types of cases. Still, there is a positive ripple effect when they receive media attention, insisted Schmidt, because “it raises awareness and helps other survivors feel empowered to report what happened to them.”
Additionally, she added, these cases can be important reminders for businesses or institutions to look more closely at their policies and procedures, and for parents, to have age-appropriate conversations with their children about body safety, personal boundaries, inappropriate touching and the importance of speaking up when something is wrong.
“Our instinct is to be polite or avoid making assumptions.” Instead, we need to “trust your gut,” and if something feels off, seek answers, said Schmidt.
“We don’t want the story to go away. We do need to talk about it.”
dcrosby@tribpub.com
