It starts with forts, those boyhood bastions of male exclusivity. Eventually it evolves into sports-trophy-laden studies, basements and even retreat rooms claimed from garage space.
Men`s dens-private male spaces-are where men sequester themselves to work, rest, de-stress, indulge in hobbies and just plain ponder. And unlike women, men tend to crave their own sanctum for relaxation and introspection.
”Men are simply less social creatures,” Frank Dattilio, Ph.D., a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, tells Men`s Health magazine in its April issue.
”A woman will call a friend if she has a problem; a man will go and sit on the back porch. It`s all part of the stoicism we`ve come to think of as being masculine.”
Another reason for the popularity of privacy for men may be their increasingly disparate roles.
”The pressures on a man come from many different directions today,”
says Asher Jason, a therapist. ”They`re expected to be cold-blooded as providers but also warm and sensitive as husbands and fathers. I think their need for privacy is a response to this.”
Reinforcing identity-with objects, art, music, memorabilia-is a hallmark of haven decor.
”Look at what men put in their private retreats,” says Dr. John Dintinfass, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York. ”It`s…things that are very important to them personally. This can be important when life`s responsibilities begin to be stressful.”
A retreat can be created in almost any available space, the magazine says. One example: an accountant with an attic outpost for model trains and Frank Sinatra records.
Yet Alan Neuharth may be the king of personalized private retreats. The former Gannett Newspapers chairman has built a 216-sq.-ft. treehouse on the grounds of his Florida residence. The hangout has electricity, a bathroom, telephone, liquor supply and even a poker table for four.
