The biggest problem with having to work all day, besides having to work all day, is that you miss all the daytime chat shows. And that means you’re missing out on the breathtakingly varied array of human misfortune and misbehavior, not to mention idle blathering.
Well, no more do you need to miss daytime chat as we discover, once again, a new and useful task for the World Wide Web, where you’ll find all daytime chatter represented.
The owlish Sally Jessy Raphael’s site, Sally on the Net, is typical of the chatty home pages. Features include Ask Sally (she’ll answer three questions a week), About Sally (she’s quite a gal, according to her bio), Sally Chat (where Webbers can bicker or opine) and Coming Up On Sally (“Stop Spending Or I’m Outta Here!”).
Our favorite feature here is a page that updates past guests on Sally’s show. Remember that grandma raising her two granddaughters who were causing her so much trouble she had a heart attack? Well, the girls have not changed their behavior. In fact, they’ve gotten worse! Or, how ’bout that show, “Please Punish My Wild Teen.” Turns out the teen’s now pregnant, but’s getting along well with Mom.
Next, we sally over to Geraldo, where we find the site devoted to Rivera’s last days as a daytime gabber before giving himself over to more serious work at NBC. Here, you’ll find Geraldo’s high-handed Talk Show Bill of Rights and Responsibilities, take part in polls (“Do you think the Ramseys would be convicted if tried for the murder of JonBenet?”), and paw through the usual overblown bio.
Oprah Winfrey is the queenpin of chat shows, though she’s gotten less sensational over the past few years, turning her show to more cozy matters such as angels and books for gals. This is reflected in her less-than-spectacular site. The high point here is her quest for upcoming guests. When we visited she was seeking people for such future shows as “How will you party when it IS 1999?” and “Is the spark gone from your marriage?”
Jenny Jones’ site is by far the pinkest site we’ve ever stumbled upon. Our testosterone plummeted during our browse through her Makeup Tips and Cooking Corner. Like Oprah, Jenny’s seeking guests for future shows, including people with the worst hair in the world (for an on-show makeover), people whose spouses were cruel to them because of weight problems and people who were tortured or beaten by a spouse and escaped.
The best part of Jones’ site, though, is a section where you can download and view video clips from some of what she’s determined to have been her best shows, including, “Girl I Hate to Be Rude, You Look Like a Dude!” “Leave Your Interracial Lover or Lose Me!” and “You May Have Had Surgery, But You Still Ain’t All That!”
Jerry Springer’s show is probably the cheesiest of ’em all, with subjects even better than Jenny Jones’. Our recent favorite is “I’m Pregnant and I Have to Strip!”
Unfortunately, Springer’s site is virtually featureless, as were some of the other lesser chatters, such as Ricki Lake, whose site brags about how she’s the “talk” for today’s generation, or Leeza, whose site proclaims her show to be the “alternative daytime talk show,” with such recent subjects as “Liposuction Nightmares!”
Finally, the best and the biggest (and we mean that, you know, in the GOOD sense) of the daytimers is Rosie O’Donnell, who patterns her show not so much on the creepy stuff as on the more celebrity-chat nighttime format, with goofy twists.
WHERE TO FIND THEM
– Sally on the Net: www.sallyjr.com
– Geraldo: www.geraldo.com
– Oprah Winfrey Show: www.oprahshow.com
– Jenny Jones: www.jennyjones.com
– Jerry Springer: www.universalstudios.com/tv/jerryspringer
– Ricki Lake: www.spe.sony.com/tv/shows/ricki
– Leeza: www.nbc.com/tvcentral/shows/leeza
– Rosie O’Donnell: www.rosieo.com
