– Dear Wendi: I have a crush on this guy every other girl likes. But he flirts with a lot of girls, so it is hard to tell which one he likes. I’m so confused!! I used to talk to him a lot, but then I realized how much I liked him, so I fell out of chatting with him. What’s a girl to do?
A Guy Troubled Girl, 13
Dear G.T.G.: I’ll tell you what a girl isn’t to do, in my book, and that’s take a guy like this too seriously. I’m not knocking him; I’m just saying he sounds perfectly happy flirting with lotsa girls and not limiting himself to one. It’s tempting to want that kind of guy: You figure that if he picks you out of all those girls, you must be really special. But that kind of thinking (though we’ve all been there) is lame. First, your specialness isn’t based on what a guy decides. Second, I’m guessing you don’t want a trophy, which is what nabbing this dude’ll give you – you want a boyfriend. You know, someone who treats you special, is there for you and isn’t always flirting with other girls. (And don’t buy the line that the right girl can turn a guy around; guys – and girls -change when they’re good and ready!) As for your shyness… he’s a guy, not a god, and it’s not your job to impress him. You just want to chat – and you can do that!
– Dear Wendi: I write my friend every week. She never writes me back. Could you give me some advice?
Upset
Dear Upset: Don’t be too hard on your friend; some people just aren’t letter writers. On the other hand, it’s no fun to write when someone never answers! So phone your friend and talk. It’s OK to tell her it hurts your feelings when she doesn’t write back. But don’t insist that she start writing once a week; instead, why not see if you two can come up with some way of communicating that works for you both? Maybe she’s a telephone, e-mail or fax kind of girl. Or maybe she’s cool with writing letters, but more like once a month. If each of you gives a little, you can work it out.
– Dear Wendi: I am in 8th grade; my best friend is in 6th. My friend is pretty and smart, but I get made fun of for hanging out with a 6th grader. I don’t want to be made fun of. What should I do?
S.
Dear S.: What’s more important to you – this friendship or your need not to be made fun of? If you value the friendship, who cares what other people say? Besides, you could declare that your 6th-grade friend is way more mature than any 8th grader who makes fun of you! Also, if you can hang in there, someday that two-year age gap will seem like nothing!
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You can write to Wendi at KidNews, 5th Floor, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. (Please keep letters short.) Or send in questions by e-mail (screen name KidNews@aol.com).
